Have you ever farted so hard you felt like you've literally deflated? It's the closest I've ever come to identifying as an inanimate object (party balloon). What a fantastic feeling!

I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

There are 49 million kangaroos in Australia and 3.5 million people in Uruguay which means if the kangaroos were to invade Uruguay, each person will have to fight 14 kangaroos.

Hey you dropped your pocket!

boof

BABABOOOEY