HITTAKB's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 1:19pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 10:50am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 21 Nov, 2021 @ 4:37pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2022 @ 8:01pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 10:48am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 10:54am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 1:20pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2022 @ 4:26pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 12:41pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 2:43pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2022 @ 3:30pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 10:47am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 1:22pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2022 @ 4:10pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 2:19pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 2:16pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 2:20pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 12:20pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 2:14pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 12:09pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 1:42pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2022 @ 1:00pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 6:25pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2022 @ 5:33pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 1:48pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2022 @ 1:19pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 2:42pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2022 @ 5:23pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 2:34pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 12:50pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2022 @ 5:39pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 6:27pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 2:42pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 10:35am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 12:44pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 20 Jan, 2022 @ 7:08pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 11:33am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 8:55am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 10:13am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2022 @ 3:12pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2022 @ 3:44pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 10:12am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 10:36am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2022 @ 3:08pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2022 @ 3:17pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 15 Jan, 2022 @ 12:25pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 9:44am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2022 @ 7:36pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 17 Jan, 2022 @ 10:42am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2022 @ 8:57am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 22 Nov, 2021 @ 1:23pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Oct, 2022 @ 1:25pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2022 @ 4:17pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2022 @ 12:08pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2023 @ 4:12pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2023 @ 11:28pm

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2023 @ 3:55pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2023 @ 4:07pm

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2023 @ 5:54pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2023 @ 5:42pm

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 2 Jan, 2023 @ 2:27pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 3 Jan, 2023 @ 5:19pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2022 @ 3:59pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

9 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

15 / 30