Recent reviews by xen

Now i know why mama said i can't be a criminal

i was afraid of the ocean before, after hours playing this game i am more afraid of the ocean than ever before

If you can not afford group therapy with your friends afterwards, do not play this game.

Football Manager 2024: My Wife Left Me, My Kids Don't Recognize Me, But I FINALLY WON THE VANARAMA NATIONAL LEAGUE SOUTH!

Football Manager 2024. Where do I even begin? This game isn't a game; it's a lifestyle. It's a second job. It's a crippling addiction disguised as a football simulation.

I started my journey as the manager of Billericay Town. I had dreams, aspirations, a full head of hair. Now? I resemble a haggard extra from The Walking Dead. My diet consists solely of energy drinks and lukewarm takeaway pizza. I haven't seen sunlight in weeks. I’m pretty sure I’ve developed scurvy.

My star striker, a Lithuanian prodigy I unearthed from the depths of the U19s, decided he wanted to be a rapper. He spent more time recording diss tracks about opposing defenders than scoring goals. My left-back, a man whose only discernible skill was his ability to commit fouls, somehow became a club legend.

I spent 17 in-game seasons trying to get promoted from the Vanarama National League South. SEVENTEEN. I replayed the playoff final against Dartford so many times I could recite the commentary verbatim. I started having nightmares about the Dartford goalkeeper. He became my personal boogeyman.

But then... IT HAPPENED. A last-minute screamer from a 38-year-old journeyman I'd signed on a free transfer. The final whistle blew. The virtual confetti rained down. I leaped from my chair, screaming in triumph, startling my cat so badly it ran up the curtains.

My wife, who had filed for divorce three in-game years ago (and probably in real life too, I haven’t checked) probably didn’t hear it. My children, who now refer to me as "the man in the darkened room," certainly didn’t care. But I DID IT. I CONQUERED THE VANARAMA NATIONAL LEAGUE SOUTH!

So, is Football Manager 2024 worth it? Absolutely. If you're willing to sacrifice your social life, your sanity, and possibly your family, then yes. This game is a masterpiece of digital suffering.

Rating: 10/5 stars (because the scale doesn't go high enough to represent the sheer insanity of this game)

Warning: May cause extreme sleep deprivation, social isolation, and an unhealthy attachment to fictional football players. Side effects may include delusions of grandeur, uncontrollable rage, and the sudden urge to start wearing a tracksuit everywhere.

Man U wins in this

Trash game, didn't find my dad.

Have you ever wanted to go to Syria but your parents won't let u? Then this is the game for you. Let your mate stick 4 IED sticks on your scooter so you can tell the Americans you don't want freedom with a boom.

Poor fascist balls

no

drunk people game