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Poland 
Peter: That I wouldn't drink at the stag party.
Lois: And what did you do?
Peter: Drank at the stag pa -... Whoa! I almost walked right into that one.
🤐
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead
to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters
of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with
royal-blue chickens.
-- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"
😭
If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
memoraboble homily so's school kids can be pestered into memorizin'
it, even if they don't know what it means.
-- Walt Kelly, "The Pogo Party"
😷
Absence makes the heart grow fonder -- of somebody else.
🤗
I wish I was a sex-starved manicurist found dead in the Bronx!!
😫
Predestination was doomed from the start.
🤣