“I’m going to read you a passage from one of my favorite fan-created fictions, Harry Potter and the Wand of Impossible Girth.
"But Dobby, I already gave you my sock. Why do you need the rest of my clothes?" said Harry Potter. Dobby gripped the tender balls of the boy who lived and whispered
"Dobby is master now, and Cornelius Fudge gets to watch." Harry Potter quivered in fear as his wand stiffened up at a touch of Dobby's magic. Dobby carefully placed Harry's sorcerer's stones in his mouth and proceeded to drink the seeping juices as if they were butter beer. Cornelius Fudge whips out his wand in response, allured by the action. He decides to get close, but Dobby peers over, casts an expelliarmus on Cornelius, and shouts. "Cornelius FUGDE ONLY WATCHES" Harry Potter stares Cornelius in the eye, only for Dobby to pull his head towards his lips, and they proceed to make the darkest of the magic Cornelius has ever seen. As they climax, Harry Potter can't help but shout at the one who must not be named as he finishes into the empty sock he had originally given Dobby. As they bathe in the chamber of secrets, dumbledore enters and explains that it was him all along. "I took some of the leftover semen on Dobby's clothes and I made polyjuice potion," exclaimed dumbledore. He caressed Harry Potter's bowl-cut haircut with his flacid penis and tucked it carefully behind his ears, not trying to get caught in his glasses.
"It's time to show you why they call me headmaster." Dumbledore then consumed gillyweed, which allowed him to breathe underwater and instantly made Harry's wand vanish. Harry held on to his scar like it was causing him pain, but instead this was causing him pleasure. Dumbledore then proceeded to ask Harry Potter to fix his posture. Harry asked, "What position, headmaster?" Dumbledore seductively said, "Diagon Alley," and proceeded to besiege the gates like he was breaking a vault at ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Nearing the end, he blessed Harry Potter with his magic spell, and Dumbledore, feeling as magical as ever, shouted at the top of his lungs, "A hundred points for Gryffindooooooooooooor!"