Recent reviews by Gordoth

Exceedingly interesting mechanics.
Very entertaining with friends, can also work without them.

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/the-underground-man-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

"The Underground Man" (TUM) is the first true "strand-type" game, predating "Death Stranding."
It combines text-based and adventure game elements in a way that makes gameplay obscenely difficult and obtuse. The game has a split screen, with the top half displaying the game world and the bottom half showing text interactions between Characters, which Players must take part in by typing words out manually.

Movement is basic, using the A and D keys for left and right, with limited utility for jumping. Players can pick up items and attack with specific keys, but the mechanics are clunky and frustrating. Before starting, players must create a backstory of at least 140 characters for their character, and any misstep during the tutorial results in a game-over, forcing a complete restart.

The gameplay is punitive: players navigate through numerous areas with minimal health, while enemies become progressively tougher, often exploiting Player expectations to induce failure. Combat is tedious, involving repetitive and stiff movements, and any wrong dialogue choice results in instant death. Hints are available but are often unhelpful or inaccessible, and the game employs arbitrary and bizarre logic for many 'puzzles' and encounters.

Platforming sections exist and are poorly designed, with imprecise jumps, no shadows to gauge landing spots, and hazards that punish mistakes severely. A particularly egregious section mimics the infamous bike level of Battle Toads, moving at unreasonable speeds with little guidance, leading to frequent game-overs. Boss battle(s) are, naturally, just as punishing, featuring unfair mechanics such as contact damage and invulnerability frames that far exceed those of the Player.

Overall, TUM is a relentlessly unpleasant game, with design choices that actively punish and frustrate the Player, making it more an exercise in endurance than entertainment. Despite the inclusion of a hint system, it fails to mitigate the overwhelmingly negative experience, rendering TUM a fundamentally unenjoyable game.

0/3

PRESENTATION

TUM features mediocre visuals that scream: retro 16-bit graphics, (loosely) reminiscent of Fallout 1. The 2D side view for the game world is inconsistent in quality—sometimes featuring backgrounds and other times lacking them, with confusing foreground elements that look interactable but aren't. The art style is bright and stylized, but the lack of animation detail and poor readability, especially in combat scenarios, detracts from the overall experience.

TUM struggles with poor design choices, such as enemy attacks that damage the Player instantly without clear visual indicators. The inventory system is poorly implemented, offering no way to check collected items, and sometimes not even informing the Player of what they’ve picked up.

The text-based interaction section features decent to good Character portraits, but is marred by slow text speed, a lack of scrolling options, and poorly translated English with frequent grammatical errors and misspellings. The writing is crude, filled with swearing and sexually explicit content, oddly aimed at degrading the Player through their Character.

Audio in TUM is a mixed bag; while the music and ambient tracks are passable, sound effects are often out of place and low quality. In addition, there is limited voice acting in Russian, which loops on game-over screens until manually dismissed, adding to the game's overall weirdness.

Many game options are non-functional, existing solely to create the illusion of complexity, which misleads Players. Overall, while some elements are notable, TUM's presentation is mediocre, plagued by inconsistencies and design flaws that hinder the gameplay experience.

1/3

STORY

TUM is a satirical and poorly executed adventure game that heavily borrows from Fallout’s themes and aesthetics but fails to deliver a coherent or engaging story. The plot revolves around the Player Character(PC)'s mission to find food (specifically corn dogs) for their underground dwelling, which is running low on resources. Along the way, the PC encounters a series of bizarre and nonsensical events, including being arrested, battling thugs, and eventually finding their estranged father. The story lacks character development, with the additive of most Characters behaving in illogical or excessively cruel ways.

The tone is inconsistent, and the narrative frequently mocks both older and newer games, attempting irony but often coming off as simply crass and disjointed. The game's treatment of female characters is particularly troubling, portraying them in demeaning and objectifying ways that reinforce unhealthy stereotypes.

Ultimately, TUM’s story is nonsensical, filled with improbable scenarios and Characters that act irrationally. The game’s narrative tries to critique gaming tropes but ends up as a confusing and unpleasant experience that falls into said tropes, leaving the Player with a sour impression.

1/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? Again, I will reiterate that I liked the hint system - it was actually supreme in concept - but everything else about this game is so dreadful that I can’t even consider giving it the point. Thus, NO, The Underground Man does not get the Legendary Point. 0/1

CONCLUSION

2/10. A horrible game. A pile of burning garbage - do not play this, at all cost! I’d even advise against bothering to find anything on YouTube resembling a playthrough to watch, because they’re either 10 hour long attempts or some russian dude playing the game in russian. The worst thing is that I have no idea how this game wound up being the way it is.

Was the developer intent on making an unpleasant, horrible game, and also failing to present a discernible message, aside from “lol people in horrible conditions suck, dude”, on purpose? Or was this all some wicked ironic joke, or was this just the result of rookies failing to do things properly, yet going at it and doing something?

Regardless, it’s a horrible thing. Do not play it.

On the wall of shame. Immediately. Hang it as though it were some foul criminal, to loom over the fiends of the future. God save us all from things like this!
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/the-underground-man-%7C-a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/curious-expedition-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

"Curious Expedition" blends text-based adventure with exploration sandbox elements, featuring rogue-lite characteristics. The game involves the Player selecting a Character (a PC) from a diverse roster, embarking on six expeditions, and competing for fame against other explorers. Gameplay alternates between MAP mode, where players navigate a hexagonal world while managing resources and sanity, and Zone mode, which involves text-based encounters and decision-making.
Players must balance exploration with survival, managing their party's sanity while facing challenges like combat, overencumbrance, and unpredictable events. Success hinges on finding a golden pyramid, with varying difficulties impacting the ease of return. The game also includes multiplayer through "Rivals," a large-scale expedition mode.
Ultimately this game has some splendidly complex gameplay and is ripe for emergent storytelling, even if, or because, it defies strict genre categorization.

3/3

PRESENTATION

The game is extremely loud, even at the lowest volume setting, which detracts from the overall experience, despite the music being decent. The soundtrack features low-fidelity, pixel-art-appropriate tunes, but some tracks are overly loud and intrusive, making it difficult to focus on gameplay. Fortunately, these tracks are not constant, and the volume can be adjusted in the settings.

The sound effects and ambient sounds are well-executed, enhancing the game's atmosphere. Visually, it uses pixel art beautifully, with detailed and stunning backdrops. The text-based elements are well-written, with a rich vocabulary that conveys information effectively, aiding the Player's progression and immersion. The tutorial is optional but accessible, helping without being intrusive. While there are minor issues in how the game conveys information outside the tutorial, they are not significant enough to impact the overall experience.

3/3

STORY

The game lacks a coherent story, offering only minimal narrative development. The Player's character is an explorer competing with others to gain fame and have a statue dedicated to them. Winning the game results in brief text about the PC and their party, leaving much of the storytelling up to the Player's imagination. The game provides some world-building and potential for emergent storytelling, but falls short in fleshing out its narrative. The story elements that do exist are ambiguous and largely unresponsive to Player actions, making it difficult to assess the game's storytelling quality.

1/3

Legendary Point
Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? Does this adventure, reminiscent of those funky adventure movies taking place during the scramble for Africa, or a bit later, or in other words so evocative of Indana Jones and Lara Croft, get the Legendary Point?

Oh, I want to say it does. If it lacked that one teeny, tiny detail, it would not have gotten the point, but it has that thing. It has modding support! Allowing the Player to set the rules of the game they are playing is the most immaculate thing one can do when making a game, as a result of which Curious Expedition, which already has a great foundation and gameplay loop, and looks wonderful on top of that, gets to be, by default, one of the best games ever made - because it is easily susceptible to modding.

YES, this game gets the Legendary Point! 1/1

CONCLUSION

8/10. An amazing experience that might threaten to lightly veer off being fun due to the challenge it presents, but nevertheless a roguelite fan should definitely give it a go, and the same can be said for those who enjoy survival games and adventure games. Fans of the time period and the aesthetic are also advised to check it out!

I tuck it under my belt, another shining achievement that I proudly display… What a gem!
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/curious-expedition-%7C-a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/brotato-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

Brotato is a top-down horde-survival game where the Player controls a character that must survive waves of enemies. Movement and attacking are automatic, with the Player using WASD keys for control.

The Player chooses a character and weapon before starting the game, then faces increasingly difficult waves of enemies until Wave 20, where a boss appears. Materials collected from enemies and Trees allow the player to level up, buy upgrades, and reroll the shop items. The shop offers weapons and items that provide various bonuses and effects, contributing to different playstyles. The game offers great replayability due to the variety of builds, character progression, and randomness of shop items. Despite some design disagreements, the game earns the highest score for its complexity, replayability, and player empowerment.

3/3

PRESENTATION

Brotato has a visually appealing art style reminiscent of old Newgrounds flash games, featuring 2D sprites on a 2D plain. The player character, a potato, progressively accumulates items like goggles, horns, and suits. Weapons, turrets, and farms are also present, each with distinct appearances. Enemies are well-designed, with upgraded versions visually resembling their weaker counterparts.

The game effectively highlights projectiles and important effects through color contrast. While the music is limited, it fits well with the gameplay, and sound effects are passable. Information is conveyed clearly, although the tutorial is minimal. Despite some minor issues with menu navigation and button placement, the overall presentation is commendable, though not exceptional.
2/3

STORY

There is no story. There are certain things that could, potentially, be construed as being somewhat related to a story, of sorts, but there is no story. There might be room for some emergent story-telling, but the game has no story for its Player.
0/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? I feel as though I could say that it does, but in truth I could never. This game is dreadfully simple in the Gameplay department and it always bothered me that it was such. With the only thing I, as a Player, am doing being walking around, it does not feel right.
Something very fundamental to games is missing here, and Brotato does manage to emulate its presence very well, but it is not present, it is absent, and that absence makes me incapable of giving this game the Legendary Poin. So no, Brotato does not get the point. 0/1

CONCLUSION

5/10. A very neat game that has the basics down very right, allowing for great enjoyment to be derived from playing it. Fans of horde-survival games should definitely take a look at it, as should anyone out there who likes Flash (may it Rest in Peace).

I’ll gingerly place it in the bag of mediocrity, for it lacks some goodness, but it will be very near the top there.
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/brotato-%7C-a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/idlespiral---a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

Idle Spiral is a game focused solely on increasing a numerical value called "r" through various calculations involving other numbers. The goal is to make "r" as large as possible, as it serves as currency and progression in the game. The Player spends "r" to purchase upgrades and unlock new features.

The game lacks any meaningful gameplay component, with only a button to quintuple the growth rate of "r" and options for automating upgrades. Resets are also available, providing bonuses at the cost of resetting progress. There is a simplistic "fighting" mechanic where a spiral's health and damage are compared against others, but it mainly serves to provide bonuses to "r". Overall, the game lacks depth and gameplay, making it unsatisfying as a gaming experience.
1/3

PRESENTATION

Idle Spiral features simplistic visuals with a colored line spiraling on a black screen and uninspired menus. While the color of the line can be changed, it lacks visual appeal. However, the game offers a tranquil soundtrack that contributes to a calming atmosphere. Unfortunately, it lacks proper tutorials and fails to provide clear information about upgrades and costs, leaving players in the dark. Overall, its presentation is lacking, failing to provide engaging visuals or helpful guidance.
2/3

STORY

The story revolves aroun the Player waking up and getting a booty call, with the solution to getting booty being to increase “r” until the Player can get to the booty. There is no story.
0/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? No, this game does not get the Legendary Point. 0/1

CONCLUSION

3/10. For only the most violent idle game addicts. For anyone else? No.
On the wall of shame it goes, forgettable and wack.
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/idlespiral---a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/breath-of-death-vii-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

"Breath of Death VII"(BOD) is a JRPG plagued by THE common genre pitfalls, notably the necessity for extensive grinding. The turn-based combat system is slow and unengaging, leading to repetitive and tedious gameplay. Attempts to alleviate this issue include mechanics like MP restoration after battles and combo systems, but these additions have limited impact on the overall experience.

While the game offers potentially infinite leveling and character development choices, it fails to address fundamental gameplay issues. The lack of meaningful exploration and the prevalence of empty, time-consuming areas contribute to the game's overall unpleasantness. Despite featuring multiple modes of play, "Breath of Death VII" ultimately fails to innovate or improve upon the JRPG formula, resulting in a generic and unsatisfying experience.
1/3

PRESENTATION

BOD an RPGMaker product, resulting in visuals reminiscent of classic JRPGs but lacking in originality. The game features low-resolution pixel art and generic assets, evoking titles like Chrono Trigger and older Final Fantasies but falling short in comparison. While the audio is passable, the music and sound effects feel unoriginal. The game's dialogue is its strongest point, employing witty, fourth-wall-breaking humor to guide the Player through the basics in a decent tutorial. Combat sprites and dialogue portraits are decent, but overall, the presentation fails to leave a lasting impression.
1/3

STORY

In this game, set in a post-apocalyptic world inhabited by the undead, the player controls DEM, a silent protagonist tasked with saving civilization from the forces of Evil. The game, as mentioned, breaks the fourth wall regularly, similar to the developer's previous work, "Cthulhu saves the world," and includes numerous references to other bits of media.

DEM is joined by a Ghost and later a Vampire on the quest to uncover ancient artifacts and discover the fate of the world. Despite its interesting concept, the game's attempt at ironically presenting a JRPG can come across as cringeworthy. While the characters are caricatures, the world-building and overall story are relatively coherent, with established boundaries and payoffs for various plot elements, although the story itself is somewhat middling.
1/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? No, although the concept was pretty neat. 0/1

CONCLUSION

3/10. A teeny tiny JRPG that’s nothing special. If you’re a big fan of JRPGs, maybe give it a try. If not, don’t.
I do not think it fit for the wall of shame, so in the bag of mediocrity it goes, to be buried and forgotten.
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/breath-of-death-vii-%7C-a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/clones-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

Clones is a puzzle game so reminiscent of Lemmings, that it is almost Lemmings. In it, the Player guides creatures through levels filled with hazards and objects. The key mechanic involves morphing individual clones to perform various actions and managing their activities. The game's complexity arises from diverse terrain types, beneficial and detrimental objects, a limited number of clones, a limited number of possible morphings, and the neat inclusion of Qdots (collectibles) for added challenge.

Despite its potential complexity, the game is designed for children, offering solutions within each level. Oddly enough, it also features a battle mode for competition, in which whoever gets through a level faster wins, which does not strike me as very coherent with the way a child would play a puzzle game.

While Clones presents cool puzzles and a level editor, it is marred by bugs and peculiar design choices. Overall, it earns praise as a Lemmings-inspired game.
2/3

PRESENTATION

Clones is a 2D side-scrolling(-ish) game with similarities to Lemmings, displaying high visual fidelity and intricate details. It is coloful and very inoffesnive, perfect for kids. It even features a number of odd choices that can only be explained as being there for children, such as completely irrelevant animations that introduce cetain entities (that have no bearing on anything) in a manner rmeiniscent of a fighting game intro.

Despite its child-friendly content, the user interface appears complex and counterintuitive. The tutorial introduces concepts coherently, but lacks polish, overlooking elements like the pause button. The game's sound effects and music exhibit issues, with a peculiar imbalance in volume between ears. Despite numerous faults, Clones maintains a certain charm that slightly elevates its overall appeal.
2/3

STORY

Aside fom a very loose premise, Clones has no story.
0/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? No, Clones does not get it, no matter how funky the level editor is. 0/1

CONCLUSION
4/10. I said it would get the Lemmings score, and it did get the Lemmings score. It's an amazing game for children, and for folks who like to solve puzzles. It'd also be great for older folks, to keep their brains working and perhaps help stave off some of those terrible things that threaten mankind.

I will, however, put it in the bag of mediocrity, for there is dust to be gathered.
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/clones-%7C-a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/castle-crashers-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

Castle Crashers is a side-scrolling beat-em-up, and it is somewhat 2D, somewhat 3D, but it struggles with its 3D field implementation, causing issues with hit detection and combat flow. The controls involve opportunities for movement, attacks, and interactions, overall emphasizing beat-em-up mechanics.

While the game offers polished elements, such as the ability to stagger enemies and thus perform impressive combos, the addition of the third dimension complicates combat, leading to inconsistent interactions. The game introduces features like stat allocation, mounted combat, and unique pets, but falls short of addressing core issues, hindering the overall gameplay experience and preventing it from reaching its full potential.
2/3

PRESENTATION

This game is the internet’s culture from the haydays of flash, from the 2010s. It features visuals that are particularly distinct, drawing from the aesthetics of that aforementioned era, and looks fantastic. There’s humor, and it’s crass, and it includes elements like poop, farts, and gore, reflecting the tone of content from platforms like Newgrounds.

The stylized look uses thick black lines to outline interactable elements, and the music and sound effects contribute to a very high-quality presentation. The story is conveyed through dialogue-free cutscenes with expressive animations. While the crass humor may not be universally appreciated, the overall quality of this thing, when it comes to how it is presented, is top-notch.
3/3

STORY

In this game, the Player, along with up to three friends, takes on the role of a knight (or a set of knights) partying in the barracks, when their celebration is abruptly interrupted. A stranger crashes in, dies, and reveals that the castle is under attack. The King's magical crystal has been stolen by a wizard-ish figure who is also abducting the king's daughters. The knights embark on a quest to save the princesses, recover the crystal, and face various challenges in different lands. The story is minimal, typical of flash games, serving a basic conceptual purpose.
1/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time?

I am inclined to say yes , because this game truly reminds me of the glory days of flash, of those games with the beefy purple guy with a chainsaw cleaving through hundreds of goons, of this rampant age of obscurity filled with wonder and the unknown… But at the same time I know better than to do that. While Castle Crashers is a near timeless remnant of that age, the age has come and gone, and it should not be the reason I approve of this game. So no, Castle Crashers does not get the Legendary Point. 0/1

CONCLUSION

6/10. Castle Crashers is a very good game to play with friends. It is also a decent game to play by oneself, but I'd only recommend it to fans of side-scrollers and beat-em-ups, as well as folks who were fans of flash games.

I tuck it under my belt, safe from the bag of mediocrity, but sporting more dust than is proper.
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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/castle-crashers-%7C-a-review

READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/away-journey-to-the-unexpected-%7C-a-review
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Simple review details - I rank games on an out of 10 basis, granting up to 3 points in 3 categories, as well as a last, single point from my own self, depending on my experience with it.

GAMEPLAY

For brevity, I’ll call the game “Away”. “Away” is a first-person adventure game with rogue-lite elements, featuring randomized encounters and dungeons. Controls feature movement, attacking, jumping, and sprinting. The game comprises of levels with enemies to defeat and secret areas to explore, presenting challenges such as… Deciphering damage mechanics.

Players can recruit non-Player Characters (NPCs) with unique attacks, functioning as power-ups. The game incorporates items, chests, coins, and shops, providing a currency system for purchasing helpful items and recruiting the aforementioned NPCs.

The experience leans on exploration and item discovery, although combat feels simple and uninteresting, with a reliance on NPCs and fireworks (as in it is merely visually stimulating). The game requires resets for progression, introducing a reset currency, and also featuring a levelling system (connected to that reset curency).

Despite issues like collision detection and PC weaknesses (making the game a bit sloggy), the game is more enjoyable than not, seeing as it doesn’t drag on and is quite brisk.
2/3

PRESENTATION
"Away" is a game that gets on with it quite quickly, presenting logos and seamlessly integrating the intro with the main menu, thus allowing the Player to jump right into the action. That’s good! The game boasts stylish, anime-inspired visuals, featuring neat environments and peculiar 2D Character sprites… Though the human Chaacters seem off-putting. The story is presented in typical JRPG fashion, utilizing text boxes for dialogue.

While gameplay instructions are generally clear, minor issues like depth perception with enemies and interaction methods arise, though they are easily overlooked. The sound effects and music are decent, inspired by anime (as can be expected). The main “funky” mechanic of Character switching introduces a captivating visual filter. Overall, the game's presentation is fantastic, with only slight exceptions.
3/3

STORY

The Player assumes the role of a Character living with their grandparents, who discovers a mining company causing chaos in the basement. The company's actions are not environmentally frienly an so, armed with a stick and the help of affected individuals, the Player addresses the situation, involving table tennis.

The narrative is nonsensical and, while it serves as a vehicle for the gameplay, it lacks significance or impact, offering minimal choices that do not greatly affect the experience at all.
1/3

Legendary Point

Does this game get the legendary point, so craved and wanted by all and none at the same time? While it looks fantastic, I have been unconvinced to give it the point, so no, it does not get the Legendary Point. 0/1

CONCLUSION

6/10. A very pretty, and decently entertaining, game. It is a bit tedious to get through, but I’d recommend it to more casual gamers, or I’d suggest getting it for your children (no younger than 7, if you’re letting your kids do anything on a computer and they’re 7 or less years old, you’re doing some silly stuff).

It’s more fit for the bag of mediocrity, yet I feel as though it shines brightly enough to warrant a spot under my belt.

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READ THE FULL REVIEW (Steam has a word limit) HERE: https://gemsimov.com/game-reviews/f/away-journey-to-the-unexpected-%7C-a-review

Lots of horrible design choices piled on top of a very solid foundation. Fun for 10-ish hours after which it becomes a slog that desperately wants you to spend money.
Will elaborate later.