--Best Cheese's--
4. Feta - Good for Salads
3. Mozzarella - Gives Myocardial Infarction
2. Brie - Changed my Blood Type
1. Halloumi - Gave me a Supraventricular Tachycardia (OUCH)

The Cheese Bishop was a role of love and respect. It was held in high regard and allowed me to speak closely with fellow chedda-lords on new means of spreading the message. But one fateful day, I was awoken. I realised that everywhere I looked, dumfayce'd goons could be observed spreading the message in an utterly incompetent and disrespectful fashion. My poor, yellowy-orang heart sank.
"Do I really work and support this?" It was hard to know what to think so I got out my cheddarchive and wrote a parable. Friends and family who read it never looked at me the same. These horrific sights of the message being shared inappropriately hit me hard enough to change my ways. I still adore cheese, yet I am no longer the archbishop. Merely, the Cheddor Dictator.