hey buddy I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, would like to be your friend again

What if I'm already ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go ♥♥♥♥ myself". I may be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself already. I may as well not be ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ myself already. Until my ♥♥♥♥ and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition.

The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my ♥♥♥♥ enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.

宅男荣耀式起势！💻👓开窗锁门拉窗帘！🚪🔒
BUSH DID 9/11！💨😤点开收藏猛加载！🖱️💥
滑鼠连点选佳作！🖱️🎥屏幕亮起神秘光！💻✨
伸手解锁战斗姿！✋🩳腾出一手备用肢！💪😎
深陷座椅调角度！🪑🎯一键静音备速击！🔇👊
双眼怒锁目标点！👀🎯脑中升腾灵感泉！💡😌
迅速起手风卷云！🌪️🖐️加速模式启动中！🔥💨
内力汇聚虎啸声！🐅💥瞬间如雷冲顶点！⚡🌩️
高潮一刻拳破壁！💥🖐️五指如龙贯长空！🐉🔥
收势重启缓降招！🤲😌纸巾连拍擦战场！🧻👏
双手合十谢圣光！🙏💻屏幕瞬闭满身爽！🛌✨
退步归元抱膝式！🧘👣收拾残迹重整场！🗑️🛏️
完结礼！🙇♂️🤝明天再战新荣耀！💪✨

The otaku starts in glory!
Open the window, lock the door,
and draw the curtains
Take a deep breath!
Click on the collection and load it quickly!
Click the mouse to select the masterpieces!
The screen lights up with a mysterious light!
Reach out to unlock the fighting posture!
Eyes locked on the target!
Inspiration springs rising in the brain!
Quickly start the hand
and the wind rolls up the clouds!
Acceleration mode is activated!
The internal force gathers and the tiger roars!
Instantly rush to the top like thunder!
At the climax, the fist breaks the wall!
Five fingers are like a dragon piercing the sky!
Recover the momentum
and restart the slow descent move!
Use tissues to wipe the battlefield!
Put your hands together to thank the holy light!
The screen closes instantly and you feel refreshed!
Back to the origin and hug your knees!
Clean up the remnants and reorganize the scene!

"phone sex with the phreaker" will always be my fav username