"I was going to attend the clairvoyants meeting, but it was canceled due to unforeseen events."

"Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?'"

"Two atoms are in a bar. One says, 'I think I lost an electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' To which the other replies, 'I'm positive.'"

"A neutron walks into a bar. 'How much for a drink here, anyway?' To which the bartender responds, 'For you, no charge.'"

"I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts for burn victims."