Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil. But, a foolish samurai warrior wielding a magic sword stepped forth to opposed me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future where my evil is law. Now, the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Aku.

shut up and take my money

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