Hey what's up everyone? This is me Devon, and right now I'm going to tell you the reason why I don't have my brand new iPod Touch 5 anymore. See, I was hanging with my bestie Alisa at her place, and getting high as hell you know, smoking up like teenagers do, on pot, having a wonderful time, and then, I had no way to get back because I was broke as ♥♥♥♥ so basically she um, she called me a cab, and she told me that, "Devon, you should totally flirt with the cab driver, and ask if you could suck his ♥♥♥♥, and I have to get it on video." she told me, could it be funny as hell, and I was like "Ok, I'm down for it!" because she dressed me up like a chick. Wearing a red dress, I was wearing like everything, makeup, lipstick, eyelashes, my hair was curled, oh my god I looked gorgeous! But yeah, it sucks because the cab driver took my iPod Touch from me, reached into my pocket and took it! When I tried to get it back he um, he put his ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥ muslim peice of ♥♥♥♥ hand away and said, "Oh, you ain't getting this iPod Touch 5, until you pay me the money!" and he gave me his phone number and ♥♥♥♥ and said, "Oh, you're not getting this back until you pay me the $49 you owe me for the cab." I was like "Well sorry if I don't have money, like, I could have sucked your ♥♥♥♥ and we would have been even." but I noticed something; that never happens in real life, it seems like it only happens in porn videos, but in real life that never really happens for some reason, and I will never know why! It sucks but, oh well, and now I have to get money again to get it back, and I'm broke as ♥♥♥♥, and I owe him $49, and I won't get my iPod Touch 5 back until I pay the dumb ♥♥♥♥ peice of ♥♥♥♥, his money. Sucks. So I gotta try to find a way to make some cash. I found out prostitution is illegal, so I don't see why, when pornstars can get paid on the internet, and they don't get charged, but hey whatever. I'm gonna try to get money, I'm gonna try my very best to get money, I would do anything to get money, and by anything I mean I would probably suck ♥♥♥♥ for 5 bucks a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, and get money that way. It's the only way I can get money, I tried getting jobs and they won't hire me, I tried to hand out resumès at 4 different jobs, they won't hire me. I tried at the library, Walmart, Pizza Hut, even at the um movie theatre, and they denied me, and they all didn't call me back. One actually did call me back and said "Oh, sorry you're not capable for this job, hope you find a different job that you're actually capable for, bye now." it's so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. So yeah, I think I'm turning into a slut now, great, but otherwise as long as I get $49 to get my iPod Touch 5 back, I don't care, I'm going to suck as much ♥♥♥♥ as I need to, just to get my iPod Touch 5 back. I am doing this for my iPod.