Recent reviews by BarkBarkImAShark

Bought reviews for sure as they are far from realistic. I simply don't see a possible scenario where I could give this game a positive review, even after following the game from release in all the way back in 2014. Bear in mind, I'm writing this review in light of the price tag which is, as of now, 16.79 Euros. I believe that the game is overpriced when compared to what it can deliver and here is why:

The bugs, the poor saving system, the abysmally goofy combat, the empty story line, the clueless progression, the occasional plummeting out of the map, the inability to commit sudoku when stuck downsides are so common place that it is hard to take this game 8 year game seriously. A complete clown fest. The USP of this game is what, atmosphere? Can't even stop laughing at the way player models have been made. Total automatons whose torsos are entirely immobile when arms flap about to imitate eating/fighting, legs - running jumping. But the torso and the head are just static objects.

As mentioned the combat is mediocre at best. Either block or mash LMB. The cannibals are buggy, and overpowered at times. Buggy in a way that they would glitch through the environment and surround you. Overpowered in a way that they will gang bang you, because again, there is only two things you can do - block and hit. Cannot do both. The moment you stop blocking, you die. And the combat (swinging your weapon to fight) itself is so bloody goofy that there is only one thing that tops that. And its the bow. The bow is something a stoned first year game design student would make on unity as a bet. Animations are atrocious, aiming is garbage. Same with spears when I think about it. And for a 2014 game, god help the consumers.

Also, perhaps it should be named The Cave System? Since the caves are huge, the player can easily get lost in them. And the caves are a place you'll find yourself spending most of your gameplay in. Navigating. But there's a silver lining - lots of loot in the caves. Quite attractive, right? Naw bruv. Loot anything in the caves, walk away for 20 meters, come back, the ♥♥♥♥ just respawns. Infinite loot. Balanced.

Inventory management- ♥♥♥♥. Glitches with quest items. Crafting is goofy, difficult to manage - ♥♥♥♥. The loops you have to jump just to set up quick select slots "1 2 3 4" is abysmal. All throughout the game, the devs have never decided on what keybindings do what. So forget familiarity with the controls. Because if you want to manage different items but in the same manner, then the controls change. For instance, to light a flare is LMB, to throw RMB. Molotov - light L, to throw LMB.

Not going to delve into building, which is decent but far from perfect. Long story short, narrative is hollow and unclear. Game progression stalled by short term survival goals which can be tackled easily. Purposeless.

Overpromise, sell, underdeliver. Wish i could get a refund. Only buy the game when its 90% off.

Unbalanced pile of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Half of the ships can't even go beyond the first sector

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ balanced. All you do is die on the last misssion. Waste of my nerves who ever made this go die

Perhaps my grandchildren will be able to buy something in this game using the credits I'll earn in this lifetime. But wait all the grind is for nuthin cause the bastards decided to shutdown the servers. Money grabbing oafs also insisting on being paid 3mil to "build a new game". "Give us money or we'll shoot the puppy". Now you're getting what you deserve. Die and don't come back.

There are more bugs than features even after "game changing" update. UI is the worst. I ♥♥♥♥ you not it's just absolutely bad. Inventory management lags, items fall through the world or get bugged effectively rendered useless. To perform a simple action, load a gun for instance, one puts basically use so many inputs that I never thought possible. Keyboard and mouse alike. Same with crafting, bandaging, eating, and so on. Select, drag, take into hands, open, hold to drink, drag again, close inv, get sick and die. But hey, points for realism? I'll give you a good realism example. Fall 2 meters - break both legs and die.

The latency is abysmal. Firefights lag out and usually both sides just unload at each other before the game registers it. Then both sides just die simultaneously. Devs are pretentious about the little features that exist. For instance, adding a new gun is a big wow for then. A milestone accomplishment were the new item does not instantly crash the game. Whereas Rust devs are literally adding new ♥♥♥♥ to their game every week tantamount to what these jokers can do in 3 years. Even casual moders do a better job.

But Dayz dev strategy is different. They have the audacity to release a DLC with an additional price tag, without first fixing the game itself. This only shows were their priorities lie. Basically just money hungry real-life survivors probably living in the woods. I would suggest not putting trust in such disreputable organization as Bohemia Interactive.

If you, dear developer, read this (probably not as you would feel too threatened by criticism to continue to the end) I remember your false promises to make the game "completely intractable", to make "every structure and world object destroyable" but now, after ♥♥♥♥ knows how many years, you can't even make a car drive without clipping it through the world. Good work, absolute clowns with this price tag plus the DLC.

If I knew you in real life (but i never will cuz I would just run away) I would probably bully you, in the name of everyone who got disappointed in this game after such an incredible legacy. And this makes me sick. Should have restrained yourself from making this, but there was just to great of an opportunity to make some muneh$$$$$.