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Pew Pew
Woke up, put on lumberjack suit with antlers. Ate canadian bacon and drank maple syrup. Put on snow shoes. Walked pet beaver. Rode polar bear to lake. Canoed across lake with hockey stick. Went to Tim Hortons. Learned new phrases that end with "eh!" Came home to igloo and watched hockey.

Sincerely, Your Average Canadian.