Still water + adrenaline + noradrenaline + hawk tuah + anger issues + balkan parents + english or Spanish + german stare + Balkan rage + jonkler laugh + phonk +Belgian edging + Baltic farting + bulgarian scratching + aggressive slovakian jelqing + polish footjob + indian respect moment those who know + Opponent uses Jamaican Smile + Russian Frown + Finnish wave + Icelandic blink + Thai grin + Hungarian punch + Swiss climb + Argentinian flex + Chilean dance + Peruvian squat + Kenyan grin + Jamaican jump + Russian slide + Filipino stretch + Balkan climb + Greek dash + Egyptian tilt + Vietnamese sit + American hop + Pakistani stomp + Hungarian march + Italian march + Japanese snap + German slide + Irish dash + Brazilian whistle + Turkish flick

The Noble Intellectual pried his eyes away from the brightly glowing computer screen, his eyes now scanning across the room, looking for . . . Oh yes! There it is! Hanging crooked on the wall, was a black board filled with tally like markings. Despite the darkness of the basement, one could make out the words "Internet debates won". The seasoned Intellect grasped a chunk of bone white chalk ("bone white" he thought to himself, "a colour of haunting yet restrained Elegance") and rose from his seat with some resistance from gravitational forces. Shifting his hefty frame (whom would exercise the body when one can exercise the mind?), he gradually made his way across the room, eventually arriving at the monument to his immense intellect. Slowly but careful, he carved a vertical white line against the board, and paused to admire his work. Satisfied, the astute internet scholar made his way back to his learning station, entering a tab containing pirated cartoons and shows.

Imagine being born a cockroach. You don’t know what you did in your past life to wind up here, but here you are. Strike one. You emerge from under your dumpster home, and look around. You’re in Brazil and are surrounded by Brazilians (basically tropical Russians) who barely miss you with their mopeds as they do their morning drive by shootings. Strike two. Finally, you find a nice piece of god-knows-what to eat in some Favela after last nights post football match massacre, but some guy with a name like “Joao” saved his last two paychecks from his job as an AIDS distributer, and managed to get a sweet deal a bottle rocket and a lighter. He finds you, minding your own business right there in the street, and snatches you up barehanded, making you want to take a shower. His buddy stole some dumb American’s iPhone from the Red Cross hospital he robs at, and films it all.

Beans

OWO whats this

C U M bouy