Jordan was born in a log cabin in the middle of the woods in the great state of New Hampshire. Shortly after birth, he ♥♥♥♥♥♥ around and boarded a plane to Alaska, to pursue his dream of fishing the Bearing Sea for crab. By the age of four, he had risen from greenhorn to captain of his vessel, which he has since dubbed "The Steamy ♥♥♥♥♥."
Despite multiple applications, his boat was never featured on the hit series, "Deadliest Catch."

When he was nine, his boat capsized when a seventy-eight foot wave smashed into it. He swam two hundred and seventy-three miles through the frigid sea, including a swim under a fifty-two mile long ice patch. He washed ashore on the coast of Alaska, and proceeded to fornicate with every woman in the eskimo village he landed by to regain body heat.

At the age of twenty one, he now lives a life of luxury (due to an extremely large insurance settlement) in a large castle in the hills of Ireland. He loves to knock back flagons of absinthe while watching a good cricket match in his pub, the Blarney Stone.



Your customs mean nothing to him.