yeezus

BagU

Using you to get my community badge

For the last couple of years I have been a single male. Sometimes I use to get lonely so I purchased a cat. I named her cupid cause she is so cute. One day I was sitting on the lounge and cupid was on my lap. She is so affection and she started licking my leg. I began to have shivers on my neck and made me quite horney. I hadnt had sex much and sick thoughts entered my head. As I began to get an erection I thought maybe I better start wanking myself so I did. After a couple of wanks my cat was still licking my leg. I turned her around and it happened, before I knew it I was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cupid. The funny thing about it is she seemed to really enjoy it. As I had finished I vowed to never do it again. That hasnt happened. I believe I should stop as I dont know what Ill do for sex when cupid dies. Is this normal?

I was browsing your profile and couldn't help but notice your smile glistening at me like tinfoil to a smacktard. Immediately my throat became dry and I just sat there silently gasping and wondering how thy could be so blessed as to view such a heavenly beauty.

You see my life hasn't always been sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes I just get caught up so much in the little things that I lose sight of the bigger picture. Next thing you know you're failing mid-semeters and have to make a living jello wrestling Coach Chuggs at frat parties. And so it becomes a vicious cycle, much like dat dere celltech. Until that one days grace, where the gods have mercy on your soul and you get a second chance. No more crackpipes and over 40' swinger parties. Imma new man and I be whoever I gunna be.

Well that day is today and I am ever thankful that I got to lay eyes upon a beauty as fine as you. I would love to meet up some time? My place for scramby eggs and coffee? Whaddya say?

Remember that one time you and I used to be friends? No? Neither do I.