Last week I went on a date with this girl I met on a dating app. Date went really well. Yesterday she invited me over to her place and we were cuddled up watching 90 day fiance. Shortly after the 2nd episode started I made a move and she said she was “not in the mood”

We finished the episode and she switched it to Love Island. Halfway through that episode I made a move again and got shot down again.

So I said ♥♥♥♥ it, pulled out my phone and started afking yews on mobile. Heres how that went down.

“Whats that?”

“Just a game”

“What game?”

“Runescape”

“You play Runecape?”

“Yeah”

“Thats ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ weird”

“Why?”

“Its just a weird game”

“Eh I like it”

We sat in silence and finished the love island episode. After it ended she said she was getting tired and wanted to sleep. I went home and in the morning (today) I sent a good morning text and she hasn’t responded.

I should probably wear my ghostspeak amulet.

No regrets.

I saw Jerry Jones at a grocery store in Arlington yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me.

Dawg what the ♥♥♥♥ I just smashed my 4K TV in front of over 30 guests at my party because of the Packers performance today. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the night in a motel. This team has ruined my life and my party. I can’t do this any longer man this team needs to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ improve

Sitting on a toilet's seat that is still warm from the last person is the closest I’ve come to physical contact with another human in 10 years.
Sometimes when I’m feeling really alone I’ll stroll down to the nearby park/Library and read a book with an eye on the bathroom. If someone enters and is in there for more than 3 minutes I mark my spot with a bookmark and patiently wait for them to exit. The Second The door opens up and they walk out of it, I instantly stride quickly, right infront of them, to the stall before the warm porcelain hug fades. after that i proceed to sit on the warm toilet seat and i just inhale the other person's scent and aura that's still lingering around.
anyways i was just wondering, do you guys think this is a weird thing to do, cuz i just feel like it's really a normal human interaction and people really to stop judging me for doing this ...

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You buffoon. Absolute clown. What did you think was going to happen if you just decide to say something so utterly unfunny? The amount of funny ceasing to exist in your words is utterly preposterous. You fool. You slimy, idiotic flea. Your tiny, mite sized brain overloaded whilst your stupid stick-like fingers typed that horrible and absurdly unfunny sentence. Who are you trying to emit laughter from? The CEO of unfunny? I beg you to never say anything as unfunny as what you just typed right now, you braindead mole. Now, I kindly request you to find the much needed funny which is missing from every word you typed. Never have I seen something with such an unholy amount of unfunny.