Welcome aboard Mahalo Airlines Flight 513
To Wailuku, Hana, and Budapest.
You may unfasten your safety belts at this time
We do ask, however, that you observe the No Smoking sign to minimize the chances of blowing up while in the air.

Our flight today is under the command of Captain Blaise "Kamikaze" Robello.
At this time, our lovely stewardesses would like to acquaint you all with the safety features on board the 777
Just in case we run out of luck.
Hehehe, I was just joking.

There are four emergency exits on board the 777:
Two are located at the front of the cockpit
The other two are located at the rear of the cockpit
For your safety, a package of party balloons is available directly underneath your seats
So, in case we plummet headlong into the raging surf below,
Simply blow up your balloon,
Tie them with strings,
And fasten them to your arms
Like so, okay?

We have about 10 minutes before we "hit" the Wailuku,
So a little bit of airplane humor
There were these two Portuguese pilots
Driving a plane much like ours
Coming in for a landing
The head pilot comes down towards the runway
And stops abruptly
And says, "My, this is the shortest runway I have ever seen."
And the co-pilot said, "Yeah, and look how wide..."
You should have been there.

We will be arriving in Wailuku fairly shortly
And we do hope your stay is enjoyable, memorable and totally unaffected by the recent hotel murders which have occurred on the island.

So, on behalf of Mahalo Airlines and everyone,
Mahalo and thank you for flying
Mahalo Airlines
Mahalo.