Recent reviews by EvilCake

Only pirate feeling I got from this game was a sailor's mouth worse than I have irl. Unlike No Man's Sky this is literally an ocean and sure it goes pretty far down, but it looks the same in every direction.

0 ♥♥♥♥♥/10 -IGN

Steam didn't let the intial review go through, likely due to hitting the character limit and cursing like a parrot in a crack addict's house.




Alternative ad for this game:

HEY KID, WANT TO BE A PIRATE. WELL WITH ATLAS, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

WANT TO GET BENT LIKE A CHEAP HARLOT ON A FRIDAY NIGHT? JUST GO TO TEMPERATE ZONES, WHERE SNAKES AND LIONS COME OUT OF THE FOREST LIKE AN ANT SWARM READY TO MAUL YOU INTO GRANDMA'S PRE-CHEWED MEALS. OR TAKE A RIDE TO ANY OTHER PLACE, WHERE EVERY AGGRESSIVE BEAST WANTS EVERYTHING DEAD BUT EACH OTHER. JUST REMEMBER TO SLAP A BRAZZERS LOGO ON THAT SCREENSHOT FOR EXTRA POINTS.

HAVING NO FUN DEALING WITH BUILDING A SHIP? WELL GET READY TO PISS YOURSELF AT ANY ENCOUNTER WITH ANYTHING BECUASE OH BOY, YOU SURE WANT TO BUILD THAT THING AGAIN.

HAVING A HARD TIME WITH FOOD? WELL HERE, LET'S JUST THROW IN 4 DIFFERENT VITAMINS YOU HAVE TO BALANCE LEST YOUR GUY POOP EVERY 5 SECONDS OR GO BLIND.

This ♥♥♥♥ is atrocious and the tedium burns you out faster than a lit tissue soaked in gasoline. ***DO NOT BUY***

Can never stop finding time to go back to this game every now and then.

Just an absolute blast to play with your friends or alone.