DEATH, PIERCE ME's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 27 May, 2019 @ 11:27am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2017 @ 9:10am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2018 @ 1:37am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 7:26am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 7:35am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2017 @ 11:48pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 12:35am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 1:47am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 2:36am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 3:42am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 4:42am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 1:11am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 7:19am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 3:14am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 2:46am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2018 @ 1:46am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2018 @ 1:37am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 1:12am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 7:20am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 7:39am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 6:41am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 27 May, 2019 @ 11:09am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 19 Nov, 2018 @ 2:04am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 27 May, 2019 @ 11:18am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 26 Jun, 2017 @ 3:32am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 7:34am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 12:24am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 1:16am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 2:52am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 5:11am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 12:06am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 2:00am

Ode to Eddings

Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 3:58am

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 7:36am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 5 Jun, 2019 @ 3:23am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 25 Jun, 2017 @ 9:14am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

4 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

15 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

1 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

6 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

1 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

28 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

8 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

1 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

25 / 30