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+rep better DJ than Khaled

+rep good guy

!!!!

I once had a guy who would illegally lock up his bike on my fence gate, made it a real pain in the ass to get out of my driveway. It was dumb too, because I have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ picket fence that a thief could rip apart in moments. So after he ignored three notes not to do this, I waited till he came back, knocked him down, and held his frail cyclist body against the ground as I brutally violated his tight little boy♥♥♥♥♥ over and over for hours. Afterwards I told him that if he ever stopped by again, I'd do it again. The next day he was back, and there were ten cyclists waiting patiently with dropped trou and their bikes locked to my fence, because cyclists fantasize about having their asses pounded because bikes are gay lmao

+rep got me HIV positive <3