...╭┻-━━┻╮...
 ┃╭╮╭╮┃
╭┫▕▎▕▎┣╮
╰┓┳╰╯┳┏╯
╭┛╰━━╯┗━━━╮
┃┃    ┏━╭╰╯╮
┃┃    ┃┏┻━━┻┓
╰┫ ╭╮ ┃┃my balls ┃
 ┃ ┃┃ ┃╰━━━━╯
╭┛ ┃┃ ┗╮

It was a cold and stormy autumn night, I saw a dark figure following me into the alleyway, I was scared for a moment but then I heard a whisper, it was him, the dark figure, whispering into my ear "Don't resist.". He grabbed by the wrist, slamming me into the wall. I whimpered "...Why are you doing this... please, stop...". He paid no attention to my words, his tongue lapping up my tears as I struggled in vain to get away from his grip. "This is it" I thought, "This is where I die" but then he whispered once more "Relaax, I won't bite... too hard" as he nibbled on my ear. I have been advised by my lawyers to not continue this story.

+rep

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Mum's Visa" has been declinded, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dildo (12') $89.99
- 1x Ultra HD Backdoor Sluts 9 $12.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (EXTRASmall) $24.45
- 5x Bananas $7.00
- 5x Cucumbers $4.00
- 1x FeelsLikeBlood Lube Bottle 750ml $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)

+rep for being a gopnik

I'm very cheeki breeki