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Goldwyn
🙄
The primary cause of failure in electrical appliances is an expired
warranty. Often, you can get an appliance running again simply by changing
the warranty expiration date with a 15/64-inch felt-tipped marker.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
🤧
Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
😵
I saw a man pursuing the Horizon,
'Round and round they sped.
I was disturbed at this,
I accosted the man,
"It is futile," I said.
"You can never--"
"You lie!" He cried,
and ran on.
-- Stephen Crane
🤑
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone
asked him, after a few days.
"Not too bad", replied Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
😬
My friend has a baby. I'm writing down all the noises he makes so
later I can ask him what he meant.
-- Steven Wright
😪
+rep good awper
+rep good teammate
+rep good friend
+rep good usper
signed by VladyG the official one :)