Is dr3bud ☭ (AKA "The ♥♥♥♥♥") an extremely dangerous Communist or just a harmless Jew in a suit? He has inexplicably become entangled in all the major events in the last half of the 20th century and nobody is sure just how much he knows.

His motives are unclear, but there is documentation of meetings with extraterrestrials, Howard Hughes, George Steinbrenner, J.D. Salinger, Chuck Norris, David P. Reinhardt and Pee Wee Herman. Photos have shown him leaving the White House late at night, but records of his visits cannot be found. He once had lunch with Jack Nicholson at Pink’s, although Mr. Nicholson’s agent fervently denies this. Of course, there are internet cults that worship him.

He has a Costco membership, but is not a member of the AAA even though they offered him his first year free. It is said his fee for product endorsement would be record breaking. He has declined a blank check offer from Hollywood for the movie rights to his life and Publisher’s Clearing House says he is a million dollar winner, but the prize money remains unclaimed.

He has never been seen without his well-tailored linen suit and fedora. The function of his suit is a mystery, as is its unusual beauty. The Men's Wearhouse has engaged its finest private detectives to obtain the secret of the suit to no avail. Many believe that the suit allows him to vanish into thin air, as if stepping in or out of another dimension. In some circles, the elimination of dr3bud ☭ is of the utmost priority; to others, he is a sought-after dinner speaker, even more so than Henry Kissinger.

Who is he? Why is he here? And who trims his glorious beard?