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……………………☼☼.………
……………… …*•○♥○•*………
……………… .*♥♫♀♂♫♥*’………
………..……*♥•♦►♫◄••♥* ………
……………*♥☺▬♥☺♥▬☺♥* ………
………….*♥•♥▬#♠ ♥#▬♥•*♥*………
…………*♥♫♥♥▬♫♥ ♥♫▬♥*♫* ………
………*♥☺♥☺♥♫*♣♥♫♥☺♥☺ ♥*………
…….*♥♣♫♥♣♥☺♥♫♥☺♥� �♫♣♥*………
…….*♥♥☺♣♥♫♥♥♫♥☺♥♫ ♥♣☺♥♥*………
….…………………▓█.……………………….
…….………………▓█.……………………….
………………….๑۩۞۩๑…………………
……….Wishing you a Merry Xmas………
……….and a Happy New Year…………
| ノ ヽ/⌒)
/⌒) (゚) (゚) | .| ▂ ▪ ▂▄▅▆▇■▀▀〓◣▬ ▪ ■ … .
/ / ( _●_) ミ/ .▂▅■▀ ▪ ■ ▂¨ ∵▃ ▪ ・
( ヽ |∪| / ◢▇█▀ ¨▂▄▅▆▇██■■〓◥◣▄
\ ヽノ / ■ ▂▅██▅▆▇██■〓▀▀ ◥◣ ∴ ▪ .
/ / ▅▇███████▀ ▪ ∴ ….▅ ■ ◥◣
| _つ◥▅▆▇████████▆▃▂ ▪ ■▂▄▃▄▂
| /ω\ \ ■ ¨ ▀▀▀■▀▀▀ ▪ ■ ∴‥
| / ) )
∪ ( \
\_)
║╚╝╠═╗╔═╦═╦╦╗║║║╠═╦╦╦╗╚╗║╠═╦═╗╔╦╗☆☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
║╔╗║╬╚╣╬║╬║║║║║║║╩╣║║║╔╩╗║╩╣╬╚╣╔╝★☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
╚╝╚╩══╣╔╣╔╬╗║╚╩═╩═╩══╝╚══╩═╩══╩╝★☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
──────╚╝╚╝╚═╝☯✫✰★✰✫☯2016★☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆
"I don't want to know!" the child said, bursting into tears.
Confused, the father asked his son what was wrong.
"Oh dad," he sobbed, "at age six I got the 'there's no Santa' speech.
At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter bunny' speech.
Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's no tooth fairy' speech!
If you're going to tell me now that grown-ups don't really screw, I've got nothing left to live for!
⊂_ヽ
\\ _
\( •_•) F
< ⌒ヽ A
/ へ\ B
/ / \\ U
レ ノ ヽ_つ L
/ / O
/ /| U
( (ヽ S
| |、\
| 丿 \ ⌒)
| | ) /
`ノ ) Lノ
(_/
skirts go up, pants go down
body to body, skin to skin
when it's stiff, stick it in.
It goes in dry, and comes out wet
and the longer it's in, the stronger it gets.
It comes out dripping, and it starts to sag
it's not what you think, it's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ teabag!
;)
i borrow £50 from ace & £50 from usp.
i give the cashier £100 &am giver £3 in change.
i keep £1. i give ace £1 back & usp £1 back.
i now owe ace £49 & usp £49. i also add the £1 i kept.
£49 + £49 = £98 + £1 i kept
total £99.
where is the missing £1
._....._________________,,
....../'_ _ _ ______ _ _ _ _ _|
...../_==O ;;;;;;;;;_____.:/
.....),_ _ _ ,(_ (__)/,,
....//(..)),_ _ _ _''
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄
░░░░░▐▀█▀▌░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░▐█▄█▌░░░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀
░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀
░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀
░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀
░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄
░░░░░░░▀███▀█░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKELLINGTON
░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
╱ ╲
▕ ╱╲▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▏
▕ ▏▕▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▏
╭╱ ╭┛ ▋╰╮▋┗╮
╰╯ ╰╱▔▔╰╯▔╲╯
▏ ╰━━╯ ╲
╱▔▔╲ ▕▔╲
▏ ╲▂▂▂▂▂╱ ▕
▏ ╭ ┃┃ ┊▕
░░░░░░▄▄▄░░▄██▄
░░░░░▐▀█▀▌░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░▐█▄█▌░░░░░░▀█▄
░░░░░░▀▄▀░░░▄▄▄▄▄▀▀
░░░░▄▄▄██▀▀▀▀
░░░█▀▄▄▄█░▀▀
░░░▌░▄▄▄▐▌▀▀▀
▄░▐░░░▄▄░█░▀▀ U HAVE BEEN SPOOKED BY THE
▀█▌░░░▄░▀█▀░▀
░░░░░░░▄▄▐▌▄▄
░░░░░░░▀███▀█░▄
░░░░░░▐▌▀▄▀▄▀▐▄SPOOKY SKELITON
░░░░░░▐▀░░░░░░▐▌
░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░█
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░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░▐▌
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\)¯¯\)¯¯¯'\_„„„„\)
______________$$$____________________$$___________
__$______$$$$$$$$$$___________________$$__________
__$$__$$$$$$$$$$$$$$___________________$$_________
__$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$____________________$$________
___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$____$$$$$$$$$$$$______$$_______
___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$____$$_______
____$$$$$$$$$$$$$__$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$__$$$_______
_______$$$$$$$$$$_$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_$$$_______
__________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_______
____________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_________
_____________$$$$$$$$$$_________$$$$$$$$__________
______________$$$$$$$_____________$$$$$$$_________
_______________$$$$$_______________$$$$$$_________
________________$$$$________________$$$$$_________
________________$$$$_________________$$$$_________
_________________$$$__________________$$$_________
<3_____________$$$$$________________$$$$$_________
......╚⊙ ⊙╝
..╚═(███)═╝
.╚═(███)═╝.. ♥♥♥♥ game..
It's a pop-up.
...(¯`°·..·°´¯) NOOB (¯`°·..·°´¯)...
............................................... (¯`°·..·°´¯) You Are (¯`°·..·°´¯)
............................................... (¯`°·..·°´¯) The Best (¯`°·..·°´¯)
............................................... (¯`°·..·°´¯) For Ever (¯`°·..·°´¯)
(¯`°·..·°´¯) Thanks (¯`°·..·°´¯)
(¯`°·..·°´¯) NOOB (¯`°·..·°´¯)
░░░░░░░░█░█░█░█▀▀░█▀▄░█▀▄░▀█▀░░░░░░░░
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░█▀▀░█░█░█▀█░█░█▀▀░▀█▀░██░██░█▀█░█▀▀░
░█░░░█▀█░█▀▄░█░▀▀█░░█░░█░█░█░█▀█░▀▀█░
░▀▀▀░▀░▀░▀░▀░▀░▀▀▀░░▀░░▀░░░▀░▀░▀░▀▀▀░
Mate: Haha how's it going? Is the atmosphere pretty flat-pack.
Me: I have no ikea.
Mate: Put a screw in it.
Me: I wood make another one of these puns but I have no more material.
Mate: Fortunately you won't need any, touch wood.
Me: We should pack these jokes in.
"Loose Women."
"Who's on this week?"
"They haven't stopped moaning, so I'm guessing all four of them."
Man: Yes
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Man: £10.00
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at £900. In one year, it would be £10,800 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: If in 1 year you spend £10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at £162,000 correct?
Man: Correct
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Lady: No
Man: Where's your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Ferrari then?
★ ★
★
★ ★
★ ★
★ ★
★
★ ★ ★
★ ★
★ ★ ★ ★
★ by badace
On a light night like tonight
For a night light's light's slight light
When the moonlight's white and bright.
Anon.
│▒│ /▒/
│▒│/▒/
│▒ /▒/─┬─┐◯
│▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│◯
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
◯└┐▒▒▒▒┌┘
no.┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐ ♥♥♥♥ dat ♥♥♥♥
but if u spoil the dark knight before i see it,i will find u & i will kill u.