Recent reviews by FENTANYL STEALER 666

Never. Fight. Online.

Make sure you can at least chain a decent combo or two and block before you even dare touch the "versus" option.

Don't make the same mistake I made.

Please.

EDIT: I'm good at the game now, please go fight online so I can wreck you. :)

EDIT 2: Realized I'm actually ♥♥♥♥, please don't go online.

Chainsaws.

And here I was, wondering what could the first game have possibly missed?

Can't be bothered to play the game properly, so I used a whole bunch of cheats and it was much funner.

with every character

there's one key

there's that one key

that you can keep spamming mindlessly

to win.

no other tactics required,

just find that button.

and spam, brother.

SPAM.

bandity smig is love

bandity smig is life

let me tell you a story

one day

i had money.

*team fortress 2 happens*

the next day

i had no money.

--

insufficient funds/10

*joins server*

"hey guys, I just got this game and it's my first time playing online here! sorry if i don't do so well this match!"

...

*silence*

...


*random player votes to kick me*


11/10, best allahu akbar simulator 2015

>felt confident, decide to start playing my first competitive match
>pick dust II
>as i'm finding a match, i go through my weapons and change my loadout slightly
>i want to be ready for this first match
>"confirming match..."
>big green button that says accept appears in front of me
>clicks big green button that says accept
>7/10...
>9/10...
>lastplayeraccepts.jpg
>"LET'S ROLL"
>as the screen loads, i study the positions of bomb site A and B
>the loading bar is almost finished
>i crack my knuckles excitedly
>i appear in T spawn
>click on "rifles", look through my options
>*chin stroking intensifies*
>since there's apparently a lot of money, i pick the AK-47
>i then must select a trustworthy pistol to take with me
>#deaglemasterrace
>i buy a kevlar vest + helmet
>i'm almost ready
>i buy a smoke grenade
>i buy a decoy grenade
>i buy an HE grenade
>BOOM
>scumbag CT bodyshots me with an AWP
>fairly annoyed, i repeat the process as i respawn
>BOOM
>same guy with the AWP
>i am quite annoyed now
>i attempt to repeat the process of buying everything
>BOOM
>patience.exe has stopped working
>i rush out of the spawn armed only with a glock
>BOOM
>time is almost up, i rush out with only a pistol again
>BOOM
>ten seconds left of the warm up match, i pick up a fallen teammate's gun
>BOOM
>five seconds, here goes nothi-
>BOOM
>scoreboard shows up
>player failed to join game
>match is being abandoned
>i am disconnected
>everyone is disconnected
>all is lost







10/10

One of the greatest Multiplayer / FPS games I've ever played. Lots of cool weapons and various maps to play on.