MY VERY OWN JOKE:
What drugs do penguins live on?
ICE!!!

1) Q. Solve: One is true.
Two is false.

A. You can't because:
If one is true the two is true but if two is true then one is false but if one is false the two is false but if two is false then one is true.

2) A dead man is found in a locked room, hanging from the ceiling 4 ft. above the floor. The room is completely empty, except for a puddle of water below him. How did he die?

3) If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? None, snakes dont have armpits