bid bugd mainuuzand durtai

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You Will Need
1 large egg

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

1 tablespoon red wine vinegar or white wine vinegar

1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt, or more to taste

1 cup (240ml) safflower oil or vegetable oil

1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice, optional

Mayonnaise Days


Pressed between twin stale realities,
a mixture of marble thoughts
Dark desires swirling around light devotion,
closet of moth-eaten moral legalities

Lettuce bed of flesh profiteering,
aorta slices of tomato fears
Asphalt of exhausted tears,
lip loyalty was bordello bought

Egged on by the sweet taste of a tainted tart ego,
soul slathering jive turkey flattery
Belly paradise of cooper acid reflux ...
Vomiting worship of dollar bread covetous regal

Mayonnaise daze of pickled yoke poverty,
rich irony is gut baked into the plight
Wry sandwich of crypt-o coin delight,
cemetery carry-out is a bottom feeder notion

Apple cider vinegar voices ... tax packet pocket oppression,
eye sprinkle condemn-mint dissent
Another time, same place location —
Spread the inequality plague of mayonnaise last days lesson

Ode to Mayonnaise
I have a friend named mayonnaise, & I could go on about 'im for days, he's the middle of my sammich when I eat.

He taste good on my fried chicken, or if pork's just what I'm a fixin. Even when I eat hotdogs, they's topped with 'maise.

Like with shrimp or tuna salad, you know my argument is valid. It's the greatest thing that ever came from eggs.

Now barbeque just won't stay new, & ketchup, I'll use a squirt 'er two. Mustard, as we all know is versatile, but mayo's the one...

that
makes
me
smile!

"Mayonnaise" You heard right..."Mayonnaise"
Contemplating the versatility of Mayo
And all that can be done with it
From the slathering on whilst sun bathing
To globbing it on my bologna sandwich

I find it tantalizing to the tastebuds
And it sure does sizzle in the sun
I once applied to much and set my toes on fire
Lucky for me I lost only one

Thank goodness I was near the water
When my foot went up in flames
I guess that's why God gives us ten toes
In case we lose any along the way

As with anything you can even get bored with Mayonnaise
That's why I strive for different ideas
So I put my brain juices into overdrive
And came up with this amazing list

Instead of milk in a shake you can use Mayo
Please wait till the end for all the applause
I'm still having trouble dealing with thickness
And have yet to get it through the straw