Recent reviews by Terry Bruge-Hiplo

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive review:

Baltoro is to poker like meth is to flinstone chewable vitamins.

A perfect score of 5 wet mouths.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive review:

In "Observing 7" you watch people's daily nights through cameras. All kinds of people. Rich, poor, fat, skinny, birth-marked head to toe, chronic masturbators, chain-smokers, spaghetti cats, body pillow humpers, balds, plastic buckets that bang, you name it. They are all fascinating people and it makes me wonder who has been observing my nightly routines? I thought I was unique until I played this game. For example:

A heavy smoking woman just wanted to watch TV, but when the TV was turned off... some otherstately (likely Florida) Karen rage came out. She screamed and flailed about, breasts flopping around past her knees. Eventually, her stare caused me to re-live the entire evening. *PS. I forgot to mention she was a nudist.

Or how about a man, who simply was using a sauna after-hours caught by security, used his telekinetic powers to pull the camera towards him and shut off the feed. He was also found and caught later, humping a bed in his spare time. He did a very similar thing that night. What surprised me was his confidence. The man had no noticeable embarrassment at all.

But, my favorite was a very over-sized gentleman strong enough to tip over a Jeep Wrangler with one arm called me a disappointment. Then he made me do a captcha.

I don't know what it is Notovia, but this is somehow better than all the rest... which are also great.

Watching People 7 gets the highest Terry Bruge-Hiplo praise possible.

5 frothing mouths, and 5 of the sloppiest kisses full of the sourest salivation known to man. We are also adding 5 anti-disappoint points, because anyone else who calls you disappointing is wrong. Only one man can get away with it. I hope you avoid him.

A Terry Bruge Editorial:

Mini roads is a game about making small roads for too many cars to use. If you have the sense for a lot of cars using small roads, then this is the game for you.

Features include road circles, bridge, upper roads, and more bridge.

It's good if you have a bit of time and want to make a road or two. Really good actually.

5 kisses, 5 mouths, and a little bit of asphalt because I never got enough.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive review:

Pacific Drive is a car game, better than any other, where you drive.

You drive, and stress, drive, and stress, and stress more, then drive.

If this is your jive, then F****** play this game. There isn't a better driving survival game out there. Anyone who likes driving games and also likes stalker, or Into the Radius needs to play this. It's the perfect game for us clown goobers.

5 out of 5 everything. If my sponsor would allow a 6, it would be. Alson consider this is including saliva, and most bodily fluids.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive addition.

The only alternative is sea of thieves. This is abandoned. Don't buy it.

Out.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive report. I have the most hours in this game of any of you recent clowns writing s**t. I'm an old man about to die.

It was good. Is it still good? Probably not. I enjoyed it years ago. A different kind of narrative. Something that has been talked about a bazillion times in the past 5 years. Remember, this game is from 2009. A lot of words I could use to describe this game are no good.

I'm an old man, it's too late to be cancelled.

Terry Bruge-Hiplo out.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive report:

I'm not kidding, refund my money without removing my in game coins.

2/3 games I play with randoms, one is a bot standing in place, spinning and shooting.

I WIN HALF OF THOSE GAMES, GIVING AFK BOTS POINTS.

I don't usually review out of character, but this is absolutely inexcusable. Unless you party with 2 other people, this game is ABSOLUTELY POINTLESS.

Like I said before, refund my money for the season pass, let me keep my coins, this isn't fair at all.

Terry Bruge-Hiplo, out.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo Exclusive report:

Phantom Library is the best expansion in gaming history. Not only did they fix the old game, which was already awesome, they made a disgusting new area. This area is gross. Nothing but people puking, fighting, and pooping. It was as realistic as California future could imagine.

My score is 5 kisses, 5 wet mouths, and as many inner lined paper bags as I could give those sick people.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive review:

After playing the last 10ish games Chilla has released, I can easily say this is the very best of their work.

Parasocial is a hyper-realistic streamer simulator with a very common daily issue streamers will deal with. Pooping. You don't actually poop in the game, but I sure did. A few times. I can only imagine what kinds of things happen behind the scenes when streamers go to poop during their live sessions.

A great short Japanese horror game, 5 kisses and 5 wet mouths. Trust no-one.

This is a Terry Bruge-Hiplo exclusive report.

Walkingboat Mini Gold is the best Mini Gold experience anyone could ever have. I forgot real mini-gold existed, but it might be because I moved to a country where it actually doesn't exist. Three of the levels made me lose a ball. Now I have 0.

Ol' Vick is too old anyway, no more kids for Terry.

I give this mini gold game 5 kisses, 5 wet mouths, and a sand trap.