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You would have known what to say, even if it was just to make the past feel less present. You always knew. I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry.
I stop by here every now and then. I think I like reading what people write for you. It reminds me that you were a light, that you are the benchmark I always strive to live up to. But it also reminds me that, if I hadn’t existed in your life, things might have been different. I feel like a mad dog, biting and tearing at everything in sight. I’m so sorry, truly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkumV_dHbkg
unfortunately, I still haven't gotten around to the tattoo you inspired me to get. I still love the idea, but idk, I guess I'm holding on to rules of the past to govern my present self. it's hard for me to change without reacessing a whole bunch of things all the way through, and I believe that's something we always had in common (although your resolve had always been incredibly inspiring). for some reason, tattoos seem to be held at a huge standard within myself in that regard, but I don't know, maybe I like having any sort of tall standards, I'm usually for subverting those whenever I can.
permanent decisions are incredibly daunting to me. I'm so dependant on things being adaptable (is this an oxymoron?), it's insane how much of an airbender I am, deep down.
actually, scratch that, they get tattoos like nobody's business. My case might be more like Deidara>Sasori or something in that vein, hahahah.
so yeah, all that and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ money, lmao. but that's not really the reason, finding excuses has always been my specialty. I'll be sure to show it to you here once I get it done.
anyway, I'm adding a new IRL friend on Steam, and I can't pass on the opportunity to visit this beautiful little temple. still miss you dearly, still talk to you whenever I can, still dance with you whenever my playlist shuffle befits the occasion, still inspired by you, still constantly looking for reasons to bring you up, still trying to better myself in your light.
💛