SwampAss26
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Wreck-It-Ralph
“INSERT COIN” blinks on the menu screen of FIX-IT FELIX, JR.

We hear a coin being deposited.

EXT. NICELAND - DAY

WRECK-IT RALPH is asleep inside his stump. A voice-over kicks

in, sounding more like a confessional than a traditional V.O.

RALPH (V.O.)

My name’s Ralph, and I’m a Bad Guy.

I’m 9 feet tall. I weigh 643

pounds. Got a little bit of a

temper on me. You know, my passions

bubble very near the surface, not

gonna lie.

A bulldozer removes Ralph and the stump. Ralph’s head pops

out of the stump.

RALPH (ON-SCREEN)

Hey, you moved my stump!

ARRRGGHHHHHH!

Ralph throws a bit of a tantrum.

The NICELAND APARTMENTS are constructed where the stump was.

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

Anyhoo, what else? I’m a wrecker. I

wreck -- professionally.

Ralph appears on screen in front of the Niceland Apartments.

RALPH (ON-SCREEN) (CONT’D)

I’M GONNA WRECK IT!

Ralph wrecks the building. He throws a Nicelander.

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

I’m very good at what I do.

Probably the best I know.

NICELANDERS:

FIX IT FELIX!!!

RALPH (V.O.)

Thing is, fixing is the name of the

game. Literally, figuratively,

meta... physically...

FIX-IT FELIX arrives and starts fixing.

WRECK-IT RALPH

FELIX:

I CAN FIX IT!!!

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

So yeah, naturally the guy with the

name Fix-it Felix is the good guy.

He’s nice enough as good guys go.

Definitely fixes stuff really well.

But if you’ve got a magic hammer

from your father, how hard can it

be...?

MARY:

YOO-HOO!

MARY pops up in a window with a pie. Felix eats the pie, and

a protective hard-hat appears on his head.

RALPH:

I guarantee you if he had a

standard issue hammer like the kind

you’d get at the hardware store--

he would not be able to fix the

things I wreck as quickly.

The damage is repaired. The screen reads “YOU FIXED IT!”

RALPH (V.O.)

When Felix does a good job, he gets

a medal.

A Nicelander places a little medal around Felix’s neck and

gives him a peck on the cheek.

RALPH (V.O.)

Are there medals for the sweet

science of wrecking? To that I say,

“Ha.”

The Nicelanders pick up Ralph and thrown him off the roof.

RALPH:

Ahhhhhhhh!

He lands on the ground in the mud. KER-PLUNK.

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

... And no, there are not.

We pull back from the game console. We’re in...

LITWAK’S FAMILY FUN CENTER

The place is bustling.

WRECK-IT RALPH

CHIRON:
“30 YEARS AGO.”

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

It’s not like I’m complaining.

Well, it’s a little like I’m

complaining. But I get it. I been

doing this long enough to know a

steady arcade gig’s nothing to

sneeze at.

TIME LAPSE -- The arcade expands over the years. Games get

wheeled out. New games get wheeled in. Owner LARRY LITWAK

takes real good care of the place through the years.

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

Seen a lotta games come and go. I

think about all those guys from

Asteroids? Boom! Gone. Centipede?

Who knows where that guy is. No, I

know I’m very lucky.

CHIRON:
“TODAY”

RALPH (V.O.) (CONT’D)

It’s just after so many years, it

becomes kind of hard to love your

job when no one seems to like you

for doing it.

The arcade is older now, and all the games are more modern. A

giant first-person shooter game gets wheeled in. The arcade

closes. The “Open” sign shuts off.

The Dance Dance Revolution screen is visible in the

background. On it we see a cycle of the dancer dancing. The

dancer suddenly stops, peeks toward the darkened “Open” sign.

INSET THE GAME:
The dancer relaxes.

DANCER:

(calling out)

THAT’S IT! ARCADE’S CLOSED!

She and her back-up dancers limp off, rubbing their

shoulders, limping, stretching after a long day of dancing.

INSERT STREET FIGHTER GAME CONSOLE: Two fighters, RYU and KEN

stop beating each other.

RYU:

What a day. Want to head to

Tappers, Ken?

WRECK-IT RALPH

KEN:

If you’re buying, buddy.

They put their arms around each other and walk off screen.

BACK ON THE FIX-IT FELIX CONSOLE: Felix and the Nicelanders

are on the roof.

FELIX:

Quittin’ time!

We push through the game screen...

EXT. NICELAND - DAY

The game is now in hyper-realistic 3-D.

FELIX:

Good job, everyone!

Felix and the Nicelanders exit the roof as we pan down the

building and get a sense of the world.

RALPH (V.O.)

I dunno, maybe I wouldn’t be

feeling this way if things were

different after work. But as it is,

Felix and the Nicelanders go hang

out in their homes-- which he’s

just fixed.

Ralph picks himself up from the mud. He watches sadly as the

Nicelanders ignore him and carry Felix to the penthouse.

RALPH (V.O.)

And I head off to the pile of

garbage in the dump... where I

live. You might call it a lonely

cesspit of despair on the outskirts

of humanity...which would be

accurate. But I call it home.

Ralph climbs up the brick pile he calls home.

RALPH (V.O.)

I guess I can’t bellyache too much;

I got my bricks. I got my stump.

He pummels the bricks into dust and pulls a pile of bricks

over him like a blanket. He stares longingly at the building.

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH (V.O.)

It looks uncomfortable, but it’s

actually fine. I’m good.

CLOSE ON:
Ralph, who sighs a very long sigh.

RALPH (V.O.)

But... if I’m really honest with

myself, I see Felix up there,

getting pies all the time, acting

like Captain Fancy. And sometimes I

think...

RALPH’S POV:
Through the penthouse windows, he can see Felix

being ushered over by the Nicelanders to a dinner table full

of delicious, warm entr.es.

CLOSE ON RALPH:
As he speaks out-loud.

RALPH:

Man, it must be nice being the good

guy.

Applause. Pull back to reveal...

INT. VIDEO GAME (LIKE A CHURCH BASEMENT) - NIGHT

Ralph sits in a room full of VIDEO GAME BAD GUYS. A sign on

the wall reads:
“BadAnon: One Game at a Time.”

CLYDE:

Nice share, Ralph. As fellow Bad

Guys, we’ve all felt what you’re

feeling, and we’ve come to terms

with it.

RALPH:

Really?

ZANGIEF:

(thick Russian accent)

Right here. I am Zangief. I am Bad

Guy.

OTHER BAD GUYS:

Hi Zangief.

RALPH:

Hi Zangief.

ZANGIEF:

I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit

bottom, I was crushing man’s skull

(MORE)

WRECK-IT RALPH

ZANGIEF (CONT'D)

like sparrow egg between my thighs.

(smacking his thigh)

And I am wondering, why do you have

to be so bad, Zangief? Why can’t

more like good guy? Then I have

moment of clarity: If Zangief is

good guy, who will crush man’s

skull like sparrow egg between

thighs? And I say, “Zangief, you

are bad guy. But this does not mean

you are bad guy.”

Claps of understanding.

RALPH:

Right. I’m sorry, you lost me

there.

ZOMBIE:

(thick Zombie accent)

Arrhh. Zombie. Bad Guy.

OTHER BAD GUYS:

Hi Zombie.

RALPH:

Hi Zombie.

ZOMBIE:

Zangief saying:
labels not make you

happy -- good, bad...

(Frankenstein growl)

You must love you.

CY-BORG

Yeah! Inside HERE!

Cy-borg rips out Zombie’s heart, shows it to Ralph.

RALPH:

Okay. I gotcha. Watch out; it’s

dripping.

CLYDE:

Question Ralph:
we’ve been asking

you to BadAnon for years now, and

tonight you finally show up. Why is

that?

RALPH:

I don’t know, I just felt like

coming.... I suppose it has

something to do with the fact that,

(MORE)

WRECK-IT RALPH

RALPH (CONT'D)

well, today is 30th Anniversary of

my game.

SATAN:

Happy Anniversary, Ralph.

RALPH:

Thanks, Satan.

SATAN:

It’s sai-tine, actually.

RALPH:

Got it. But here’s the thing...

(exhales, th
Sir, this is a Wendy's 23 Apr, 2023 @ 3:05am 
tryhard loadout and spawntrapping the whole game to win by 5 points LMAO
Architect 16 Jul, 2021 @ 1:39am 
poo
Architect 16 Jul, 2021 @ 1:39am 
stinky stink
Architect 16 Jul, 2021 @ 1:37am 
he has smoll pp
Gerald The Sealion™ 26 Feb, 2017 @ 6:57pm 
+rep ♥♥♥♥ flavoured memes D:
inda™ 2 Aug, 2016 @ 2:36pm 
+rep kewl story bro, don't remember you soz ;-;