cmd.bleys's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:55pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:20pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 11:33am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 3:27pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 11:28am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:43pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 3:03pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 4:51pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 6:22pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 5:26am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 8:10am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 12:01pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 3:59pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 4:00pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2023 @ 10:58am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 2:08pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 8:51am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 7:23am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 11:58am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:06pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 7:15am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 7:24am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 3:47am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:08pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:51pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:03pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2023 @ 6:20pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 1:58pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 31 Mar, 2023 @ 5:31pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 1 Apr, 2023 @ 12:02pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2023 @ 11:32am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2023 @ 2:28pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2023 @ 4:02pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 4 Apr, 2023 @ 9:33am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 5 Apr, 2023 @ 2:48pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2023 @ 3:52pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 5 Apr, 2023 @ 2:33pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

4 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

5 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

0 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

1 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

7 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

28 / 30

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

16 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30