Maneater Mildred
Lucia   Oregon, United States
 
 
Think you know how to eat a bånånå? Think you're an experienced prø? Yéahhh . . . abou †hat. Scientists have something to tell you. Not to, uh, ruin ¥our day. But people are talking about you . . . about how you're eating ßananas the wrong way. They're whispering about this. Haven't you ever realized that? A lingering star∑ at the end of a con√ersation . . . peering around çorners at your office, or dorm, or empty hallways of a government building.

PEOPLE KNOW ALL ABOUT YOU. No one wants to have lunch with you because of this. Thousands of people are aware that you are eating bananas wrong now, and have been eating bananas wrong your entire life. Turned down by a cute boy or girl? It's because of this. Day after day passes with no information about your future? You cannot, or choose not to, eat bananas the right way. Why can't you just apologize?

THERE'S NO EXCUSE. Scientists announced this change a while ago. God, when was it? Weeks, moπths now? Where have you been while this information disseminated? Were you on your iPhone? Were you on your Android or tablet? You thought—you seriously thought—that the stem of the banana could be used as a handle? Are yoµ a terrible person, no offense?

Listen . . . I know a place whœre we can help you. You have to be willing to make a change. Show up at this address at night. We love you—we promise that anything we said before will be taken back. We'll turn back the clock. You'll learn how to eat banzazas right. We'll give you the Wh冧Äpp of popular and sexy people. They've been waiting to talk to you, actually! Just last week, obj.___class___ was talking about you. Ted was mentioning that he thought you were really funny.

It's not too late. Just bring a bºx with you, ok? I shouldn't even have to tell you that, ha ha. Bring a big box, cardboard, and we'll get down to business.

Lots of people have had this problem. Kamala Harris. Mark Zuckerberg. It's ñothing to be ashamed of, as LONG AS YOU FIX IT. We can help you. You should be grateful. Don't let anyone know that you've been eating bananas wrong. Keep it a secret. I love you. I'll see you tonight with that BIG cardboard box . . . there's a fourth way to eat bananas too but it's dangerous HA HA HA BYE I LOVE YOU
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veronika virago 2023년 4월 16일 오후 11시 10분 
this here the swagdown thunder kush dimensional warlock pack. one nug caused the waco siege. itll make you forget you were alive. 145% thc content. no seeds no stems. pure dankage. the lift:drag ratio is measured in the millions. it's the roko's basilisk of homicidal cannabis.
Harms Whey 2018년 4월 15일 오후 9시 41분 
ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ You’ve been visited by Hellbear Smasher of fortune. Clap your paws and copy paste this message 5 times without getting banned by mods and luck be with you for the next year ʕ ͡·ᴥ ͡· ʔ
Harms Whey 2015년 12월 22일 오후 2시 35분 
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Harms Whey 2015년 5월 28일 오후 11시 11분 
/フフ         ム`ヽ
/ ノ) do you even lift? ) ヽ
/ |  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ⌒(ゝ._,ノ
/ ノ⌒7⌒ヽーく  \ /
丶_ ノ 。   ノ、 。|/
   `ヽ `ー-'_人`ーノ
    丶  ̄ _人'彡ノ..
Vulture 2015년 1월 31일 오후 3시 00분 
I am 100% high
Harms Whey 2015년 1월 21일 오전 8시 08분 
I am very secure about my pizza. You have obviously never tasted pizza if you think mine look bad, and that is very sad for you. You should get a pizza right away so you will have some knowledge of pizza and not sound like a fool when you speak. Again, I would ask you to prove your own pizza making skills if you think you are capable of judging others so harshly. But that would require something well beyond your capabilities. You really should try pizza, it is quite delicious and you won't sound so stupid when you comment.