I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LOVE SHAGGIN PILLOWS. Nothing will ever quench my lust quite like passionately shaggin a soft cotton filled shaggin sheet.

Women are nothing to me, they hail in comparison to my pillow (no gross fanny stuff either) my pillows are loving and caring and wont ♥♥♥♥♥ and moan.

The only purpose they serve is to ease this tension and frustration that builds day in and day out.

This is not a plea but a key to salvation, head my words and step forth my brethren leave these archaic and barbaric primal urges of reproduction and follow in the way of the pillow.