He jerks off heavily and then eats his own load to not waste that sweet protein. Sometimes he even does it for his buddies. I try to tell him it's gay but he just cares about the protein and gainz.

Also, one time he jerked off to his belly button then put sticky tape on it so that the next morning it was hardened and could be eaten as a cookie.

+rep

I found while driving in Wyoming that wearing a stetson and driving a
beat-up pickup meant you could go as fast as you like, while the police
picked up Californian winnebagos that went one mph over 55. After all, they
wanted to *bring* money into the state, not merely circulate it.
(alt.fan.pratchett)
🤧
The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred.
😪
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
-- George Santayana
🤔
Let us be charitable, and call it a misleading feature :-)
-- Larry Wall in <2609@jato.Jpl.Nasa.Gov>
😍
Have you seen the latest Japanese camera? Apparently it is so fast it can
photograph an American with his mouth shut!
😵
toilet toup'ee, n.:
Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
creating endless annoyance to male users.
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"
😲

-Rep, absolute ♥♥♥♥ !

-rep gettin cheatboosted by lowtier trash

…………………………………….¸„„„„
…………………….…………...„--~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).'\
………….…………………… („-~~-„¸_….,/ì'Ì
…….…………………….¸„-^"¯( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¸-¯"¯/
……………………¸„„-^"¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡'\¸„„,-"
**¯¯¯'^^~-„„„----~^*'"¯ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡¸-"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)„-^" : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡„-"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ¸„-^¯
( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ¸„„-^¯
:.' : : '\ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)¸„„-~"
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):"-„""***/*'ì¸'¯
:.':( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡:"-„ ( ͡° ͜ʖ\
.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° \
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ 'Ì
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ/
"-„_::::_„-*__„„~"

-rep ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ russian kid