Capoenzo1's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2020 @ 7:02am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 4:29pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 2:14am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 6:07am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 2:14am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2020 @ 4:07pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 1:04pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 10:53am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 2:32pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 4:37pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 9 Dec, 2020 @ 6:32am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 12:53pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 4 Dec, 2021 @ 4:26am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 2:22pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 10:18am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2023 @ 4:55pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 10:55am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2021 @ 12:58pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 4:15pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2020 @ 7:02am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 4:45pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:12pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 5:48am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 6:01am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2021 @ 5:05am

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 3:12pm

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Unlocked 25 Sep, 2021 @ 3:12pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 1:06pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:31pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 12:40pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:03pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 14 Jan, 2021 @ 5:41pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2020 @ 4:03pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2020 @ 4:10pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2020 @ 7:02am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2020 @ 7:02am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 10:44am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2020 @ 4:09pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 10:03am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 6:18am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 11:15am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 10:49am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 23 Nov, 2021 @ 9:02pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2021 @ 10:27am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2021 @ 4:14pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 13 Jan, 2021 @ 12:15am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 14 Jan, 2021 @ 6:16pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 16 Jan, 2021 @ 4:52am

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 15 Sep, 2021 @ 5:14pm

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 12 Jan, 2021 @ 3:39pm

Dick Message

Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.

Unlocked 26 Sep, 2022 @ 10:01am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 14 Jan, 2021 @ 6:09pm

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

Unlocked 22 Jun, 2021 @ 10:34am

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2021 @ 12:15pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 4:56pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 5 Dec, 2020 @ 2:32am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

22 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

20 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

2 / 10

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

5 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

19 / 30