gort's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 1:12pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2023 @ 8:57am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 11:43am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2024 @ 1:56am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2023 @ 3:59am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 11:42am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2023 @ 3:55am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2023 @ 6:23am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 10:41am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 3:16pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2023 @ 7:42am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2023 @ 4:55am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 1:04am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 10:30am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 7 Aug, 2024 @ 2:21pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2023 @ 4:59am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 10:21am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2023 @ 5:29am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 8 Mar, 2024 @ 11:11am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2023 @ 12:56am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2023 @ 7:30am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 11:22am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 2:49pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 10:17am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 14 Sep, 2024 @ 9:49am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 5 Nov, 2023 @ 5:29am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 9 Mar, 2024 @ 2:11am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2023 @ 10:36am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 1:18pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 21 Mar @ 3:29pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 11:17am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 11:45am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 4:54am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 12:57pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 26 Nov, 2023 @ 7:48am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 31 Oct, 2023 @ 11:49am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 23 Sep @ 9:29am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 2 Nov, 2024 @ 1:30am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 4 Nov, 2023 @ 1:43am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 1 Nov, 2023 @ 3:59am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 20 Feb @ 6:13pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 3 Nov, 2023 @ 6:36am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

4 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30