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9 of 35 (26%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

SUCKTASTIC!

Suck up 500 items with the shop vac.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2014 @ 4:01pm

DON'T TAZE ME BRO

Taze 200 victims.
Unlocked 4 Aug, 2014 @ 1:48pm

NEUROSURGEON

300 headshot/decap kills.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2014 @ 10:47am

SCHWARZENEGGER

200 kills using M-60.
Unlocked 1 Jul, 2014 @ 8:26pm

EMO

Injure yourself.
Unlocked 24 Jun, 2014 @ 11:52am

WOLVERINES R GHEY

50 badgersaw kills.
Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 9:14pm

DO NOT PUSH THE BUTTON!

Disobey orders, given to you, and see what happens.
Unlocked 24 Jun, 2014 @ 10:43am

THE CHOICE WAS YOURS!

Choose path for the first time.
Unlocked 1 Jul, 2014 @ 9:22am

REPO MAN

Return Thegways to the owner
Unlocked 3 Aug, 2014 @ 8:57pm



CAT WRANGLER

50 kills using cat.

ENTOMOLOGIST

50 kills using bees.

ARSONIST

150 kills using fire.

DANNY TREJO

100 kills using machete in melee.

PSYCHO DUNDEE

50 kills using boomerang machete.

REAL AMERICAN

Kill/incapacitate 235 terrorists.

CAMELBACK

Piss 100 gallons of urine.

PERSONAL JESUS

Beat game with zero kills.n(zombies and bosses don't count)

T.J. HOOKER

Arrest 200 perps.

PETA CHAIRMAN

Kill no animals in one playthrough.

STALLONE

Complete game using only melee.

EASTWOOD

Complete game using only the pistol.

I AM THE LAW

Complete Good path without falling off.

KAVORKIAN

Euthanise 30 elderly folks.

JACK THOMPSON WAS RIGHT

Kill 1000 unarmed bystanders.

DADDY NEVER LOVED ME

Complete game killing only males.

PRODUCT RECALL

Destroy 50 cars.

PROPERTY DAMAGE

Smash 50 windows.

THERE IS NO SPOON

Spend 900 seconds or more in catnip bullet time.

FAIL ZOMBIE

Respawn 20 times.

COMMIES GO HOME!

Make Venezuela peacemakers go home.

SCOFIELD

Escape from prison.

SAYANARA, TREE HUGGERS

Arrest eco zealots leader.

ALL PERPS MUST DIE!

Take out all the criminal scum infesting Catharsis!

AIN'T GOT COJONES!

Finish your business with Krotchy.

SPECIAL OLYMPIAN

Beat the game once. No restrictions apply. Everyone's a winner.