Recent reviews by Brock Hard

It's okay.

Game is not bready yet, to say the yeast... but it's still awesome dough.
If you like bread, you knead this game. You'll loaf it. Pardon the buns.

>Rubbed jam on myself
>Jumped off the table
>Landed Jam-side up

This game is the best thing since SLICED BREAD.

>Starts game... Graphics are good but something's fishy... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>Spawn in burning life pod.
>Wildly jump around in the flames before putting it out.
>Start swimming towards bigger crashed ship- *explosion imminent* GO BACK GO BACK.
>Find the first and last piece of quartz I'll ever see in the game.
>Try to make friends with a fish carrying metal scraps.
>Ooh is this a gift?
>Nope. Stalker tears me in half.
>Respawns and swims to the surface.
>*Nothing but open water*
>Remembers fear of ocean.
>Alt f4 --> Delete Steam
>Gets a job working at Red Lobster
>Still afraid of fish/everything
>Throw shrimp cocktail in someones lap.
>Cry in the bathroom and think about how dad was never there.
>Get back on Subnautica. He would be proud.
>No longer scared of fish. *dad pls respond*
>Sea Dragon eats me immediately.
>Mom hears me crying.
>She leaves to go to the store and never comes back.
>Try to eat my feelings but taste only shame and smell only feces.

BEST. GAME. EVER. - 10/10 Would commit seppuku and restore honor to family

Your run of the mill game about locals trying to protect their forest from illegal logging.

> Crash land in nudist colony
> Tfw malaysia airlines
> Guy took my unwanted son
> Decide to start a garden about it
> Inb4 realize no son = No tax write off
> Crippled with loss
> See a naked girl down on the beach
> Throw a tennis ball down to suggest we play catch
> She yells and dances wildly
> Finally someone with drugs
> Omw to party sloot- See rope leading into hole
> No flashlight but I'm not a ♥♥♥♥♥ tho
> Start climbing
> Hear squealing noises
> Stop midway down rope
> See mutant fetus fly across cave
> Climb back up and tend my garden
> Forget I had a son
> New son in fetus cave can jump twice as high

10/10 would tend my garden again.