Recent reviews by a banana

Definitely worth 10 minutes of your life.

As you left the cave you were confronted by a farmer called Alyssa. They asked you three questions.

The first question that was asked was:

Why do you have blood on your overalls?

To which you responded:

uuuuhhhhhhhhh it's tomato sauce obviously

The second question that was asked was:

Why do you have a knife?

To which you responded:

IM A MASS MURDERER i mean what i dunno no reason i guess oh yeah i was chopping tomatoes for tomato sauce haha *cough*

The third question that was asked was:

I heard moans, what have you done?

To which you responded:

nothing i swear PLEASE LET ME GO PLEASE DONT KILL ME PLEASE PLEASE DONT KILL ME i was just having a sauce-gasm

After hearing your answers Alyssa decided to let you pass. This was quite a foolish act considering that you were covered in blood from the killing of the previous farmer, rich ♥♥♥♥♥ shawty.

And that draws an end to your involvement in this story. Thank you for playing.

TL;DR - it's an incredibly fun game where you're one little dude fighting in large battles. The game lets you play pretty much any way you want, whether it be taking part in the intense frontline action, or sneaking behind the enemy and taking them out with silenced weapons. Very fun, highly recommended if you like the idea! Oh and there's multiplayer.

In RUNNING WITH RIFLES (RWR) you get dropped into the middle of a brutal and bloody war between the Greenbelts (USA), the Graycollars (Germany), and the Brownpants (Russia). You play as one soldier in an army of hundreds as you slaughter dozens of enemy soldiers, die a lot, get reincarnated each time as another soldier, and rise gradually through the ranks, battling it out across some unknown country trying to completely dominate the enemy. RWR is super fun, and the developers are friendly and dedicated to the game.

There is a campaign mode, where you go from one map to the next, completely capturing each one as you go, before facing 2 Final Missions, in which you mop up the remainders of the enemy forces. There are about 10 maps (which are all very well designed) to wage war across in the campaign. You can also play any of these maps as a single quick battle, although there's no guarantee that it will be over quickly. Each map can take anywhere from 20 minutes to over 5 hours (cough moorland trenches cough) with the frontline moving back and forth with each attack and counter-attack.

In multiplayer, you can play PvE or PvPvE, with a huge number of people (up to 64 I believe). Playing online is super fun because you can actually use proper teamwork with other players, to annihilate the enemy soldiers on the front lines or to stealthily capture a base behind the enemy lines.

When you start playing, the basics are obvious: run with your rifle and click in the direction of enemies to shoot at them. But it's not actually that simple, because the game is fairly realistic when it comes to dying. One bullet is enough to drop you where you stand, leaving you wondering where the bullet even came from. Running straight towards the enemy holding down the left mouse button will get you killed over and over with no reward. You have to use cover, utilise mortar and artillery strikes, call in airborne reinforcements, move with your allies, set up machine gun installations, and use tanks or other vehicles to break through enemy lines.

There are lots of different weapons and items that you can use, including shotguns, sniper rifles, grenade launchers, rocket launchers, riot shields, and flares. There is something for pretty much every playstyle. Need to get behind the enemy and destroy a comms tower? Get in a camouflage suit, take a silenced sniper rifle and pistol, some C4, and you're good to go.

The game lets you change quite a few game options before you start a singleplayer game, such as friendly/enemy accuracy, starting XP and RP, etc. This basically determines the difficulty. On higher difficulties, the game is very tough, and this is when battles become hour-long stalemates, the streets and fields quickly turning into blood-soaked killing grounds, until you successfully create an advantage by changing up your tactics.

Overall, if you like the idea of being an individual taking part in a large-scale war, you should definitely put this game on your wishlist. Keep in mind that you will die a lot, and it can be kind of frustrating at times, but it's always entertaining. It's also obvious that a lot of love was put into the game. Overall, just really good. Highly recommended!

Screencheat is a crazy game about looking at the other players' screens to see where they are, and then proceeding to run them over with a toy horse, shoot them through a wall, blow them up with a teddy bear, or whack them to death with a fish.

As you can tell from the name, the videos and the screenshots, the game is splitscreen, and everyone is invisible. You have to locate the other players by screencheating, and then go and kill them. Every kill is satisfying. A ragdoll flops into existence when someone dies, and the ragdoll models include fish-people and chickens. There is an announcer, whose accent can be changed in the options. My personal favourite is the Australian announcer :D

There are 10 maps, which are well designed and colour-coded so that you can easily tell which area someone is in. There are 10 weapons, which are all unique. There are several different gamemodes, such as CTF (Capture the Fun), Deathmatch, KOTH, Murder Mystery (you are assigned a target that you must kill to gain points), and Juggernaut, to name a few. The gamemodes can be played FFA or in teams. There are also several server mutators which can be activated to create an even more hilarious/weird experience, like huge ragdolls, and Australian mode.

The game supports up to 8 players on a server. 4 players is a nice number, but a full server of 8 is pure insanity, and it's wonderful. You can play local or online multiplayer, or both at once.

You gain exp by playing, and as you level up you unlock bonus ragdolls (such as a hotdog) and weapon skins (such as the Cod of Duty skin for the melee weapon).

Overall it's a really fun game, and it's even more fun if you have friends to play with. It would probably be a great party game. There are so many funny moments, but it can be quite competitive too, and it gets pretty intense sometimes. But it's always fun! The game needs more people playing it, so buy it sometime!

So apparently "zenzizenzic" is a mathematical term for the fourth power of a number, or something like that.

Anyway, the game itself is a super fun, intense, infuriatingly difficult twin stick shooter with tight controls, a great soundtrack, many colourful enemies, and many many bullets.

There are 2 game modes:
• Classic
• Macro

Classic mode lets you play through 5 increasingly difficult levels, each with their own theme. You can choose Normal, Hard, or Very Hard difficulty. You equip 2 special weapons from a selection of about 6, with each one offering different strategies. These include missile barrages, black holes, teleportation, huge laser beams, and high-power charge shots. Then you jump straight into the bullet hell, and you will find yourself obliterating waves of enemies, dodging bullets, getting hit by bullets, dying, and saying "Again!"

You can also train against the 5 bosses, practise the bonus levels (in which you have to dodge your way through various obstacle courses), or challenge yourself by playing Gauntlet mode, where you play through all 5 levels in a single run. The individual levels only take a few minutes to complete, so if you just want to open the game and blast through (or die in) a couple of levels, you can do that.

'Macro' is an interesting open-world roguelike mode, with shops, upgrades, useable items, and huge bosses. This can also be played on Normal, Hard and Very Hard. It's a very fun mode that offers a different style of gameplay to the Classic mode, as well as a lot of replayability like every good roguelike.

You can also play co-op, which I haven't tried, but it seems like it would work well.

There's a lot here to keep you interested if you like bullet hell and twin stick shooters. I definitely recommend this game to people who are looking for challenges, highscores, or just a load of fun.

A good RPG by a father-daughter team. It has good art, good enemies, a good upgrade system, and you will play through the game at least twice to take the two different available story paths.

I recommend trying out the original game which you can play online for free, Chibi Knight. If you like that, definitely get this game.

I just 100%'d the game (steam achievements) so I'm going to try and write a review. Yay!

DeadCore is a fantastic FPS parkour puzzle speedrunner game. The objective is to reach the top of a mysterious tower by running, jumping, and using your trusty Switch Gun to activate and/or deactivate switches, enemies, moving walls, and gravity fields, while trying not to get disintegrated by lasers or fall to your death (which is by lasers most of the time anyway because a floor of lasers follows you upwards whenever you reach a new checkpoint). Most of the enemies don't actually kill you, but the turrets and troopers launch you away (often into lasers) and the mosquitoes slow you down (so you can be killed by moving lasers).

The whole game can be speedrun in less than an hour, but it takes several hours to finish the first time, familiarise yourself with the levels, learn some speedrun strats, and find the hidden Sparks to unlock the game's true ending.

+ The controls are simple and responsive: WASD to move, E to boost, M1 to shoot, M2 to aim (personally didn't find much point in aiming), and M3 to blast.
+ The feeling of speed is very nicely communicated (did I describe that right?)
+ The graphics are very nice and sleek-looking, even on very low (;_; my computer)
+ The levels are well designed, with some tough challenges, often with multiple paths, and encourage a bit of exploration to find the collectables
+ Speedrun mode! Leaderboards! Beat the devs!
+ Beating the dev times, completing a paticularly difficult section of a level, finding short cuts, finding hidden collectables, and just being launched high into the air and boosting around, gives a lot of satisfaction.
+/- The difficulty ramps up quite a bit, and in the later levels you will die many times to the challenges. This is a personal thing, I enjoyed the difficulty but some people won't.
- Story doesn't really make sense. Or maybe I'm too literal-minded.
- You have no body and it's a bit hard to know what your hitbox is going to do

Overall a great game, I highly recommend it to fans of first person parkour or speedrun games, and people who like a challenge.

Simply fantastic. If you are looking for a good old 2D space adventure game where you can: a) Unlock many different ships, weapons and components, b) Upgrade various aspects of your ships, c) Be a pirate and prey on civilian ships, d) Bribe officials and manipulate relations with the police or the civilians, e) Use a massive battleship to blast a starbase to pieces and collect the loot because you didn't want to pay them for it, f) Participate in bounty hunter battle events and win their respect, g) Use this respect to order the bounty hunters to attack a warp gate blockade for you, h) Fight zombies, i) Battle squads of enemy ships and blow them to bits, and pick up the jettisoned crew to join your ranks, j) Rampage through the galaxy and cause general chaos in each individual solar system... then you should buy this game.

The devs said that they created SPAZ because they couldn't find games like it anymore. This is sadly true, but now you can play this game so it's all okay. It is not the most fast-paced or the most action-packed game (although big battles are quite exciting) but it doesn't try to be. It is just a completely amazing space adventure that lets you choose where to go next and what to do when you get there.

You are let loose in a galaxy that you design (for the most part), and you are free to explore solar systems, mess around with politics, and level yourself up so you can venture into harder areas. To get to a new system you have to either destroy the UTA (police) warp gate blockade, bribe them with goons, or use bounty hunters to clear the blockade for you. You can then continue to the next system, and because there is no communication between systems, the people there will have no clue what you have been up to. In each system there are small, basic missions that you can do, and occasionally a conflict pops up between the two sides, which you can join in.

There IS a storyline, which is quite intriguing, but the story missions are relatively few and quickly jump to much harder areas. You have to explore and level up before continuing on, but you can do the story whenever you really want, or if you get bored of exploring all the other solar systems, because they are mostly the same, and when you have acquired all of the blueprints that you get from lower-level systems, there is not really much need to go all the way around the galaxy. But it's still fun to go to every place, especially if you are someone who loves exploration.

There are lots of ships of varying sizes and all of them are designed for a different purpose. You can easily change between ship designs and equip different weapons and support modules. Later on in the story you get more hangars, which means more ships. You can only control one at a time but you can freely swap between them, and the AI controls the others. You can give orders to your AI-controlled ships, although they can be pretty frustratingly stupid sometimes. Especially when armed with huge bombs, because they fire them off everywhere as soon as they reload, usually causing high damage to you or friendly ships, which quickly turn hostile.

Combat ranges from not-all-that-interesting with smaller ships, to exciting, lasers-and-giant-explosions when several large ships are pitted against each other. Many small details have been perfected in this game, some of which are: shockwaves from exploding ships will damage anything that is too close, and firing on one side of a ship will wear down the armour and allow you to deal more damage, as well as causing minerals and crew members to be sucked out into space through breaches in the hull.

Yes, there are zombies in this game. They are found in the central solar systems. They are very annoying (they have a tendency to split and create more, and there are lots of them) and can be dangerous and head to deal with if you are not careful. Luckily, both the Civs and the UTA hate the zombies as well, and there are often conflicts between zombies and one or both of them.

The graphics are nice, the backgrounds are nice, the ships all look nice, the explosions are nice, sound effects are nice, everything I have mentioned previously in this review is nice. You might not like this type of game and that's fine, but if you are remotely interested in the concept then you should definitely buy it. The price is overly reasonable, especially on sale. Recommended.

If you liked the original ESJ, then you will like this. Keep in mind that, while it IS cheaper, and it IS a sequel, it is a LOT shorter. There are barely any levels. There are only 8 achievements and they are all straightforward and easy to get. BUT, there is more content on the way, and very recently (as I am writing this review) a level editor was released. This is good. Level making/sharing = endless fun.

This game is a lot like the first one: bright colours, sexual noises and jokes (there is still a PG mode), head-explodingly-good music, and... MISSILES. There is one big difference though: You can't smash. Which means a lot more dying to the missiles. But this change is also good because it lets you focus on "proper" platforming, just you and your jumping against the world, no way of defending yourself.

There are only 15 levels (including the two secret levels) but they are well made, challenging, and all unique (there are no worlds like in the original). And of course, the music is awesome. There are 7 new songs (I think) and one or two of the best from the original game have been re-used.

Another difference is that you get a score for each level, based on how fast you finish, whether or not you did it without dying, and how many stars you collect. These aren't like the stars in the original game, there are lots of them, and they give you 10 points each. If you are someone who likes getting high scores, you will spend a long time replaying levels to get a better score. There are also black stars, which award you 69 points (it's true) and then spawn a missile.

And of course, there are normal missiles. Sadly, they still exist.

There are also several small secret areas, with large rainbow stars which give you a heap of bonus points. Most of these are concealed in walls that look slightly different or suspicious. There are 2 secret full-length levels as well.

At the moment, there is a lot less content here compared to the original ESJ. There is also no endless mode. But the new level editor means that you could potentially have endless levels to play, and if you like making your own levels, you will have even more fun. Being one of the first to share some maps, Michael Todd (the dev) played my levels: http://michaeltoddgames.tumblr.com/post/98423885365/wow-the-horde-parts-1-2-from-boncottled-is
Overall, I highly recommend this game.

Gear Up is a very fun and intense multiplayer game. It's completely free so download it and give it a try. The graphics are nice, the style is cartoony and colourful. LOTS of customisation, and I mean LOTS. The controls can be tricky to master but that makes it so much more satisfying when you do it right (unfortunately this doesn't happen to me very often). Definitely recommend.

For a free game from a small game studio, this is a fantastic experience. Join a multiplayer game and take part in some intense, bright-coloured, robot-exploding, wall-climbing, water-surfing, high-flying, sharp-shooting, gun-blazing action! This really is extremely fun mechanised combat. One of the sad things, which sadly plagues many multiplayer games, is that there are hardly any players. But if you get in a game with 10 other people, it is incredibly fun, with robots rolling, hovering, climbing or surfing around in the map, with flashes of light flying in all directions and explosions rocking the ground all around you.

The graphics are very nice and smooth, and the art style is colourful and cartoony, quite like TF2. However if your computer is not good then you will have to turn down the graphics quality quite a lot, which is disappointing but necessary to avoid being kicked for not having a high enough frame rate. Not to mention, trying to fight high-speed machine-gun-wielding robots is hard if you're lagging.

The controls might take a bit of getting used to, but they are not so hard that you can't work out how to competently go around a map and shoot someone. It can be a bit confusing with the body of your robot and the way it spins with 'a' and 'd' and then moves forward with 'w' in whichever way it is facing, not the way your turret is facing (aimed with the cursor). However if you can handle it well then you will have a big advantage over people like me who struggle with going in the right direction and always seem to fall off ledges.

The way your robot handles changes with the 'propulsion' unit you choose for your robot. These are high-speed or slow and heavily armoured tracks, hoverfan things that let you fly over water, insect legs that let you climb sideways on walls and upside-down on roofs, and even a large green undulating slime-blob, just to name a few. Each type has its advantages and disadvantages, stat changes, and special abilities. There are also customisation options for body, turret, main weapon, support weapons, and of course, accessories that don't do anything except make you look cool (but you really do look cool wearing moose antlers). There are many different parts in each category, and each part of the robot changes its stats and abilities in a unique way. All parts can be bought in the store for gold, awarded for kills and wins.

Everything you see in the trailer on the store page, you get in the game, except maybe for the hordes of players. Bright, fun, explosive, and action-packed, this game is a great free to play multiplayer game, and you should at least give it a try.

«« Review re-written 13th Feb, 1 week before full release! (Australian time) »»

Amazing game. Fast-paced, unique gameplay, simple but effective graphics, lots of customisation, multiple maps and game modes, power-ups and crazy server modifiers, fun singleplayer challenges, awesome soundtrack, and a fantastic dev who is friendly, listens and responds to the just-as-fantastic community, and works hard to update the game on a regular basis.

I can't fault the game. 10/10, GOTY, deserves its #1 spot on top of the multiplayer genre. Buy it.