Recent reviews by -∞-dissolve-∞-

Hey, Steam. How about letting us get refunds on all these Early Access games that take our money and run; barely updating, and just abandoning. Where's the accountability?

Yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaawwwww
: - )

Game of the year? This is game of the decade!
If you're on the fence about buying this game, just trust the reviews and buy it!
Full price? Yes! Just buy it!
This game offers so much content, that 75 hours in and I'm still discovering and unlocking new things. Also, the sheer amount of voice dialogue in this game is mind-blowing! The art style is gorgeous, the action is peerless.
This is hands-down the best roguelike out there, and one of the best games of this generation. So do yourself a favor and stop reading this right now and just push that shiny 'purchase now' button. You'll thank me later!

EDIT: Review update after 2x the amount of hours and 100% achievements

I'm STILL discovering new dialogue interactions, fairly frequently. There's still quite a bit to unlock, and progress towards, even after unlocking all the steam achievements. The game is so intuitive; I entered a chamber on the final zone, encountering a rare cutscene, to which, I responded out-loud, "Oh no.", and I see that my in-game character, Zagreus, has also responded with, "Oh no." Perfect.
You discover a new way to utilize the tools you've been given time and time again, and your build pops off. You fly through the maps, and crush all in your way, challenge be damned! And you get back home, and the game compliments you in rewarding ways! Actually compliments, and recognizes your achievements, as you make them. Like I said before, it's very intuitive in many aspects. Much love was put into this game, and I look forward to another 75 hours.

TL;DR : Is this game worth your money?! Yes, absolutely!

I wish I could nominate this for 'Game of the Year' AGAIN this year.
This is the game of the decade.
Play this game.

This is, literally, the best use of 10 of your dollars that has ever, or will ever, present itself to you.

This game should not be compared to Minecraft, as that game (and all games) = soggy, undercooked ravioli compared to this masterful work.
In fact, Lamborghinis, stuffed-crust pizza, making love to Emma Watson, eating ice cream while sky-diving, and sharks riding jet-ski's are all garbage compared to this game.

Leonardo Da Vinci, Abraham Lincoln, and Bill Murray once fused together, Dragon Ball Z style, and the mighty black hole of sheer awesomeness that was created from this fusion, had to stop, and bow down, humbled by the majesty of Terraria.

Do yourself a favor: don't wait until a sale to pick this one up, as the devs really do deserve not only the $10 that this game costs, but also the extra hundreds of dollars that you will inevitably take from your or your child's college fund and send them when you realize they have created the closest thing we mere humans can get to digitized perfection.

I hate sausage.

When I was a child, I had a dream. A dream to one day sip soda in space.
Unfortunately for me, I don't have the aptitude to pass the rigorous tests required by NASA astronauts.
Then came Soda Drinker Pro.
Now I can experience the sensation of the carbonated cosmos as I veeeeery slowly crawl my way across not only space, but over a hundred locations where a person can only dream of drinking soda.

Have you even been on top of a skyscraper? You have? Well I'll bet dollars to sodas you weren't sipping something tasty while you were up there. Well now you can!

From familiar locations, to the very limit of human soda shenanigans, you, too, can experience what it's like to enjoy caffeinated slurpers the way they were meant to be enjoyed.

You can see where it all begins in the soda factory, or experience soda-ception as you drink soda into your mouth... INSIDE a human mouth! It has only just begun!

This was a delightfully charming game.
It may be somewhat on the short side, but it is enjoyable the entire way. It's not very difficult, but this really works for Moonlight. You can't die, which fits the tone of the game. The dialogue is cute, and has some humor to it. The ending surprised me with a bit of cleverness, and some genuine feels.

Definitely pick up a copy, as it's around the same price as a burger from your local fast-food joint, and I think you'll get more enjoyment out of this.

Flibbity Jibbets!

UPDATE UPDATE: They have removed the new achievements as of this writing.

OLD UPDATE: They have recently added four new achievements, making the player complete 100 of these rooms in order to get all the achievements.......... AVOID THIS GAME LIKE THE BLACK DEATH!


This is what's considered a 'game' these days?
Horrible. Absolutely horrible.

It's just a black screen, no music, around 10 total text notifications, with brief stock sound effects.
Even with this minimal amount of 'gameplay', it's still frustrating; you tend to get stuck on objects in the room, and I guarantee you will sigh frequently as you hunt for the last thing you're supposed to do, just waiting for it to be over.

Speaking of the objectives, let's talk about those... you get a list of objectives that don't change each time, just the locations of these objects in the small, black room. They are boring things such as 'brush your teeth', and 'sleep', though why you'd need to sleep when you're trying to brush your teeth and seemingly get ready to leave is beyond me.

Now for the only positive this game has: the achievement. This game has one achievement, for finishing the short, short game (around 3-5 minutes), but even then you have to beat this nightmare twice in order to get the achievement, as it seems to be bugged the first time you complete the room.

So yeah, this is obviously someone trying to throw together the most minimal, bare bones of playability and put a two dollar price tag on it in hopes of making any amount of money that they can with this throwaway garbage. I'd say it's a scam, but it does function, just in the most basic way that would be embarrassing for even a student project. Trying to charge money for this heap is where I draw the line, however.

So if you simply MUST get this game, just to pad out your perfect game number, just make sure you idle it for over 15 minutes, so that it will count on Astats. And remember that the dev is laughing at you (and me) for purchasing this, while he sips on Cristal from his ruby-encrusted goblet.

This game is frustrating in so many ways.

-At times, the clicking doesn't register.
-You have to wait a few seconds for the gems to fall after you destroy them, as the registration time is janky.
-In the easier levels, you can just click randomly around the screen to win.
-In later levels, getting to gems that are trapped in the corner, or in hard to reach areas is increasingly frustrating, because you can't predict which gems will drop down onto the next segment, due to the fact that gems drop and shuffle randomly.
-Also, when trying to get harder gems, in addition to the frustration of trying to combat the random shifting of gems, you'll have gems manifest themselves from illogical spots, like the sides of walls, right on top of where you're trying to clear out a spot, making getting to a certain spot nothing but an rng crapshoot, where you'll spend 10 minutes trying to hit one spot, and when you finally get it, then you have to do it two more times, because it's a thicker block that you have to hit multiple times.
-When you finally finish getting the tricky gems, amid much irritation, you're forced to collect hundreds more of the colored gems, which means more random clicking around the screen.
-Power-ups are basically useless, except for the dagger.
-Many levels start you out with a tiny, tiny play area, where you're sure to have only one move, two if you're lucky, and many times you'll run out of moves almost immediately.
-In addition, frequently you will run out of moves on one side of the screen, which is segmented, and are forced to utilize power-ups just to clear gems so that you can have moves again.
-The story is quite mediocre and dull.
-When you power through your frustration and finish the game, you discover that the arcade mode is 100 levels of the same nonsense. Just no.

Give this game a pass, as there are many better games of this type on Steam. It's just way too frustrating to be worth your time and money.