You limp into the dark woods
Blood oozing from your stump leg
You've beaten Shia LaBeouf
Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise)
There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes
But you can do jiu-jitsu
Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf
Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg
He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
You're chopping his head now
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf
His head topples to the floor, expressionless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath
You're finally safe from Shia LaBeouf