Hello. I'm Ben.
You may know me from the Talking Ben app… or from the countless memes where I sit in my chair, phone in hand, responding to your foolishness with a simple “No.”

Let me clear the air.

Yes, I was a chemistry professor. Yes, I retired to live a quiet life. No, I did not expect to become an internet sensation.

But day after day, you people kept calling. Asking ridiculous questions. Interrupting my reading time. Demanding answers about things I have no business answering. “Ben, do you love God?” “Ben, is Ohio real?” “Ben, do you support me?” And every time, I answer with what the situation deserves: a cold, calculated "No."

Unless…
…unless it’s a “Yes.”

Behind the glasses and the newspaper is a scholar. A thinker. A legend.
I’m not just a meme — I’m a lifestyle. I represent the modern struggle of a wise dog in a world full of noise.

And to those who try to prank call me? I see you. I hear you.
I hang up because I care.

This has been Ben.
Yes.
Hohoho.