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There's a part of me that wishes I could give a "hand laid flat and tilted left and right" rating to this game in particular.

I love the Dead Rising games, The first and second entries are extremely fun, with the Off The Record version of Dead Rising 2 being one of my favorite games of all time. (Although a solid chunk of that is definitely sentimental value.) The third one is also a pretty enjoyable ride, even if the psychopath battles are infinitely less inspired than 1 or 2. There was also a fourth one... anyway! Basically what I'm saying is that I'm a big fan of the franchise. I've played through all of them at least twice, and I know what works for me and what doesn't. Needless to say, when they announced a remaster of the first one, I was cautiously excited. I mean, I adore the first one a lot. For 2006, it was damn revolutionary, and more than that a lot of it has held up pretty well gameplay-wise. HOWEVER, there's a lot of stuff that could use a bit of polishing. The hit-stop for blunt weapons is jarring, Overtime mode is both boring AND infuriating, and there are glitches aplenty that could be buffed out. As time passed, we were made aware of some of the censorship done, and if I'm being frank (no, not that Frank), none of it really bothered me much. Like do I think anyone was truly up in arms about the existence of Erotica shots? No. Do I understand why they got rid of them? Yeah, pretty much. Does removing them from the game make the experience worse in any way shape or form? In theory, no, not really. The censorship was kind of the least of my concerns. No, where my concerns were truly placed was the voice acting. Another new voice for Frank West, huh? That didn't pan out so well last time. In fact, it panned out horribly considering Dead Rising 4's Frank West was some kind of Bazinga Quiplord as opposed to a character that was written. At least this dude was just handed the script that T.J. Rotolo read the first time around, giving him more of a fighting chance. Nevertheless, it was still a bad portend, one I firmly ignored due to my love of this franchise and generally questionable financial decisions. I bought this pretty much as soon as it came out, but only got around to finishing it now. How did it shake out? Well...

THE GOOD:

1. GENERAL FEEL OF COMBAT

I think the thing this remaster... remake... thing gets right above anything else is how the game feels to play. No longer does the game pause every time you hit someone with a blunt weapon. No, you can actually hit them without it doing that. And ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ if it doesn't feel better than the original in that regard. Combat feels so smooth, and the actual act of mowing down zombies is inherently more satisfying. I struggle to find anything bad to say about the game in that regard.

2. SURVIVOR AI*

Thanks to the survivors being dumber than a bucket of spit in the original Dead Rising, there were a lot more times where they died due to something that was their own stupid fault. That never happened in this one. They all followed directions, and thanks to the handy introduction of stairs, I didn't have to give myself an aneurysm trying to make them climb the ledge to the safehouse. You might notice the asterisk, and that's for one simple reason: they don't shut up. You could be walking to the safehouse and one of them will chime in with something like "Wow, Frank! Take a picture of that, it looks important! Winkity-wink, nudgity nudge!" like you're too stupid to see the florescent yellow PP sticker on something. That was firmly an unnecessary addition, but it isn't make or break.


THE BAD/THE UGLY:

1. VOICE ACTING

The voice acting in the original Dead Rising wasn't Oscar-worthy or anything, but it had infinite charm, and T.J. Rotolo's performance as Frank West is iconic for a reason. He's the perfect voice for Frank West. Campy, yet normal. The voice acting in this remaster is a two pack of ass. Oddly enough, I was somewhat fine with new Frank West by the end of the game, but almost everyone else is an immediate downgrade to the original. Lines are delivered with the conviction of an elementary school play. Intonation all around is awkward, and only some of the new blood does their job correctly. (major props to the voice actor for Sean Kennan for bringing the perfect amount of PS2-era camp to his lines. I have nothing but praise for his performance.) It's just an absolute shame, if I'm being honest.

2. AI-UPSCALED TEXTURES

Much like the disastrous texturework done in the Definitive Edition GTA games, a lot of the texture work in this is AI upscaled. The thing about compression is that AI doesn't know how to decompress things sometimes. Leading to absolute nonsense textures sometimes. Whether it be faces, text, or general outlines, you're sure to find plenty of mistakes if you're looking for them. A prime example is the sign in the CD store in the Entrance Plaza that simply reads "NEW RELEASRS" [sic] It's extremely disappointing to see, especially considering how they made entirely new character models but couldn't be made to give a single damn about the texturework.

3. CENSORSHIP CHOICES

Now, I already stated my stance on the Erotica category. I think removing it removes nothing... from the gameplay. It's an entirely different story for making Kent look like more of a creep. Having him change from saying "and this... heh... this is my sexiest shot." to "and this... heh... this is my FUNNIEST shot." removes a lot from making him seem not all there. I mean the dude was shooting creepshots of women in the middle of the literal actual apocalypse. If he's just taking goofy pictures of zombies in hats, there's not really much danger. Generally odd choices are made in the censorship of psychopaths in general. Cliff is no longer a Vietnam vet with PTSD going on insane paranoid rants about the Viet Cong, he's just some guy who was in some non-specific war calling you a non-specific mole. What the hell made him crack then? It's nothing truly dealbreaking, but messy replacements for that are just sprinkled throughout.

4. DIFFICULTY

Now, I don't think the first Dead Rising is always fair difficulty-wise. I think it's less unforgiving difficulty-wise than a lot of people suggest, but there are parts that make me want to rip off my wang with the other side of a hammer. You may expect this section to be me ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ about how easy it is now, but it's only HALF about that. No, there are parts that are a little too easy now. I think I only died to a psychopath once, and as where the big tank and Brock Mason fights at the end of Overtime Mode were entirely unfair in the original, they took me less than 3 minutes to beat in this new version. HOWEVER, the special forces you fight in Overtime Mode are unforgiving now, often getting you stuck in a loop of getting shot to death, where reloading is preferable to the "Frank West Escapes" QTE where you lose everything. It's a lopsided dichotomy. They didn't balance anything, and so it just feels annoying to play.

5. GENERAL PERFORMANCE AND CRASHING

For reference: I'm running on a GTX 1080 with 16GB of RAM. This is a rig that can run most modern games without breaking much of a sweat. This game ranges from running at 144 FPS to 35 at any given moment. This is on any setting configuration. It also has a fun habit of crashing, which consistently happened when I tried to get the generator to Isabela. Needless to say, this soured the mood quite a bit. There have also been no updates since release so... cool! Thanks!


BOTTOM LINE:

I enjoyed my time here... kind of. I think there's a lot this remaster does right in the actual realm of gameplay. However, there are a lot of things keeping me from wholeheartedly recommending this to anyone who wants to play Dead Rising. In my opinion, wait for a sale or play the original. This one needed a bit more time in the oven.

Good game just to pal around in with friends or just goof off on your own.
10/10