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I didn't know what to write about in my review, so here's a recipe on how to play Counter-Strike: Global Offensive instead:
1 Overpriced branded gaming mouse (best results with Razer)
1 Overpriced branded gaming keyboard (best results with Razer)
1 Giant mouse pad 50cm+ (because who the ♥♥♥♥ uses the imperial system)
1 144hz monitor (note: anything lower than 144hz will NOT work)
1 1/4 cups milk
1 Prebuilt Gaming computer (preferably one with a overpowered cpu and a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ gpu *cough* ayy lmaolienware *cough*
3 cans of phresh memes

Steps:
1. Set your screen ratio to 4:3 and to the lowest resolution possible so you can play like a pro
2. Buy a P90 and spam the keys A and D when shooting at someone
3. Reach Gold Nova 1 to make fun of silvers
5. Call everyone who is less skilled than you a filthy casual and a silver
6. Tell everyone who is more skilled than you to stop toggling and to go on a VACation
7. Steal your mum/dad's wallet and buy a knife and say you unboxed it. Optional University/College funds
8. Give up and go play on some Surf/Zombie servers
9. Realise there is no Step 4

Kill someone with a P90 - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a P90 through a smoke - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing hacker!!"
Kill someone with a AWP - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing noob!! Noob weapon!!"
Kill someone with a AWP through a door - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing hacker!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you die - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing noob!!"
In a 1 vs 5 you win - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing hacker!!"
Kill someone with a headshot - "Hacker!!"
Get headshoted by someone - "Owned!!" and get teabagged
Kill someone with a grenade - "Luck!!"
Get killed by someone with a grenade - "AHAHAHAHA"
Get teamkilled by someone - "Get out of the way you ♥♥♥♥ing idiot!!"
Accidentally teamkill someone - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing idiot!!"
Blocked by someone - Dies
Accidentally blocks someone - "Get out the way you ♥♥♥♥ing idiot!!"
Decide to save - "You're a ♥♥♥♥ing coward!!"
Decide not to save - "Save you ♥♥♥♥ing idiot!!"
Kill someone while defending the bomb - "You ♥♥♥♥ing camper!!"
Kill someone while defending the hostages - "You ♥♥♥♥ing camper!!"
Someone dies - The deceased one starts to rage
Your team lose the round - Your team starts to rage
Your team is losing 10-2 - Someone rages quit
Go to the balcony in Italy - "You ♥♥♥♥ing hacker!!"
Worst guy receives a drop - "Are you ♥♥♥♥ing serious!?"
Warm up - Everybody tries to spawn kill
Score is 5-1 in your favor - "This is a T map!"
Score is 1-5 againts you - "This is a CT map!"
Lose the first 2 rounds - Someone asks to get kicked
Last round - Everybody buys Negev
Your team is loosing and you are in last - Someone vote to kick you
Win a match - All enemy team rages
Lose a match - Your team rages
Someone's Internet crashes - 30 minutes ban
Your Internet crashes - 7 days ban

The RAGE Simulator is REAL

Copied review.