Here's the problem with penis pumps:
And I'm talking about the ones where you fit everything inside. The ones that are about the size of a two liter bottle, maybe a little bit smaller. They're for fitting not just your junk, but your balls into, what most guys do is they go hog wild, you know, with the electric pump, eh, some are electric, some are hand, and they start sucking all of their groin flesh into the tube, so they think their balls look bigger, but really what they're doing is just sucking all their groin flesh in, so that everything just sorta hangs low, they're not really bigger, they just have an exaggerated pendulum-like thing, and they think that looks good.





"What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little cutie?"
"I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Huggers N Cuddles, and I've been involved in numerous secret spanks on your cute butt, and I have over 300 confirmed cuddles."
"I am trained in gorilla hugging and I'm the top kisser in the entire US adorable forces."
"You are everything to me but just another cutie."
"I'll kiss you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words."
"You think you can get away with being that adorable to me?"
"Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥."
"Once this conversations over I will contact my secret network of spies across the USA and track your home adress so you better prepare for the love, honey."
"The loves that wipes out the adorable little thing you call yourself."
"You're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cuddled, sweetie. I can be anywhere, anytime , and I can love you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands."
"Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed love, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Sex Shops and I will use it to its full extent to please your adorable ass off the face of the continent, you little cutie."
"If only you could have known what holy retribution your romantic "clever" comment was about to bring up upon you, maybe you wouldn't have held your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tongue."
"But you could, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you loveable cutie."
"I will love you all over you and you will drown in it. You're ficking mine."