Signed by bjunk_

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I was walking to my car when I noticed my pants were on fire. Looking to my friend and said, "I think were going to need an oven and fast." He grabbed me with his soggy toes and said.. "Snap out of it." He proceeded to chant and walk in circles. I looked down, My pants were still on fire, but by this time it had spread to my Uterus and three other ligaments. I was annoyed that no one seemed to care about my third degree burns, or my soon imminent death, but I went along with his plan still hoping he'd manage to save me through his voodoo witchcraft. After I came out of my trance from the fire I noticed that I was now in the kitchen of my grandma's house baking a cake.. I screamed "WHAT THE F***?"
My Grandma ran in and slapped the s*** outta me for cursing. I stared at the women who had once been a kind, sweet, old lady, who wouldn't even kill a baby piglet, now turned into this vicious beast of a monster with veins protruding from her neck like a porcupines quills on a midsummer day.