Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-f*cked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, resolutely sh*t, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless f*ckfest, recidivistic sh*tpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.

SHIVERS - A grey rain falls on Martinaise. The city soaks in it, cold and dripping. Waves hit the concrete breakers. The homeless huddle by the fires behind the fences. There, among the shacks, is your home. Stay. Have a drink. Forever.