Recent reviews by addemund

The founding-father boogeyman of the TCG genre. MTG is much like man's original sin, in a biblical sense, as playing it feels like biting the forbidden fruit, leading you to give your entire soul to satan himself.
People who play this game, never leave and even when they do they come back. Like some twisted groundhog day, the game perfectly balances between being brilliant and unique, while simultaneously feeling like being subjected to chinese water torture with a vibrator in your ass.

A picture to summarise the average MTG player experience goes as follows:
You boot up the game. Find yourself enchanted and wonderfully lost in the blissful learning experience. Then, through countless hours of grinding swiping your credit card , you finally muster up the currency to craft a viable deck of your liking from the beautifully vast and expressive options, possible through the patented color pie it's all black, it's the only viable color .
Then, once you build your confidence enough, through trial and error, grappling with the multitude of minute interactions, you venture into the ranked ladder.
At this point, you are already too far in. Whether you choose BO1 or BO3 as your preferred playing field, satanic flowchart decks will molest you and do unspeakable things to your mental health.
You will wish death upon the entities that designed the infernal 'sHuFFleR".
You will lose countless games where you are fiending for even one card that actually lets you play the game against your opponent, who, on the contrary, seems to be manifesting three overlapping dimensions of reality to pull perfect card after perfect card just to ♥♥♥♥ you.
Until, like a ray of light through the clouds, you get THAT GAME . The game where you and your opponent meet chakras and intermix in harmony and balance. With equally playable draws and after a stimulating, cerebral exchange and countless, still-intensive stack interactions, after 20 minute battle of wits, you come out the victor. Your deck came together perfectly, making you actually feel like you not only got to play, but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ live. At the end, you hit your valiant foe with one last gg as you deliver lethal.
That is when you feel true accomplishment. That is when you know, they have you.
The next 90 of your games are decided by coinflip and continuing playing through the coming expansions will cost you your house, leg and firstborn child.
Yet still, the feeling of that one game of cosmic alignment will keep you willingly spiraling down the rabbit hole of insanity.

Just as Richard Garfield intended.

TL:DR
Coming from hearthstone, this game was all I ever wanted from a TCG 9/10.
The game has a horrible company behind it and for every fun metagame there are 2 years of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Playing standard with up to date decks is expensive unless you play almost daily, mostly due to the awful crafting and rewards systems. Still would recommend for anyone to try it just for the learning experience alone, it's a one of a kind experience I can't describe. The Wandering Emperor is my waifu.

Hades truly lives up to it's name, the name's legacy, the mythological context and price tag in multiple ways as well as the fact that the developers probably had to make an unholy pact of some sort to get this much top shelf content in a game such as this. NGL having been stuck with a near lifelong abusive relationship with league of legends and other various games that market their ability to syphon your offline existence, I majorly missed the bus on Hades and in my tormented state of coping brushed it off as some cute anger management game for people who want to flex their autistically timed runs to each other. Needless to say I was wrong. Hades is so much more. Not only is it a high octane, nuts are going to start quaking, minimum 250 bpm, APM paradise. Not only is it an artstyle so timeless not for it's 'rEAliSM' but it's beauty and attention to detail, it is quite simple a game that fires, at max, on quite possibly, all cylinders. As you fire this game up you are left with no time for petty tutorials, The game grabs you by the neck and balls and throws you in the bottom of hell, leaving you to deduce that the only way left to go is up. A gameplay loop that would easily have become mindnumbingly boring, an absolute chore, a side activity at best, where the player is not only forced to retry bosses but also the whole ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dungeon on every attempt. Yet the game is overflowing, dripping, dare I say divine in it's plentifulness of options for different ways to experience this repeating gameplay pattern. Now while I could autistically go join the circlejerk saying "tHE gAmE HAs iNcREDible enEMY vARieTy, dIffEReNT BuILDs, MAkIng eACh rUN UNiquE" all that's a given and if you don't know it you should just stop sitting idly in your smelly, 2 day t-shirt and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ buy the game.
Also if you are like me and suffer from what's colloquially known as asbergers meaning you have a crippling need to relive any game you have beat through external means such as youtube edits and retrospectives, not only does this game have those in heaps but a community so depraved, so enslaved by their carnal affections that you could spend a small eternity simply debating these fiends on who the game's hottest character is. And seeing as I have recently been overcome by a newfound sense of wisdom, I will elect not to share my thought on the matter (obviously Dionysus, though Megaera is fine too)
TL;DR Game blew all my expectations away, will be coming back to it after beating it. Could see it becoming one of my favourite games just for the variety and excitement of it's combat. Easy 9,5/10. End of the story felt a little rushed at parts and some justifications were odd to me, though nothing even close to severe. PS I need a doctor for my carpal tunnel please

Mageseeker is well suited for the 2023s zoomer. This however doesn't detract from the sinister vibrations coming from some of the game's dubious themes. I, however, am either too uneducated or too apathetic to make note of any philosophical gain one might acquire from engaging with this content. The game itself is a buttonmasher el dorado. You'll be going through packs of enemies like cutting through moist butter as soon as you grasp the relatively simple but deceptively challenging controls. And whilst this game has upgrade and collection side content for those of us afflicted with whats commonly referred to as autism the real A1 meat and bones are in the boss fights. First off if you are firing this game up with the intention to play through on anything less than the aptly named Kingslayer difficulty you might as well shut off your computer and go try make a change in the clowntheater of real politics. These bosses range from a big ass rock that'll force you to buy perscription glasses or reconsider a color blindness diagnosis to your friendly sleep paralysis demon to a gigachad prince thats into scalies. All in all once you have overcome both, all the games obstacles and your newfound carpal tunnel you'll find yourself with a game that has left you both satisfied and with a tiny itch to even return one day to some of it's more memorable fights. Only after you've suffered through your complimentary crippling carpal tunnel.
TL;DR
Game was good 8/10. Could have been a bit longer even with the side missions. Gameplay was great could have used more enemy variety. Story was fine mostly thanks to sidecharacters, otherwise I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate the ending feels like wageslave League lore writers really drove them into a corner. Shyvana hot af.

This game is timeless, a masterpiece, truly a goliath of the genre. The intro grabs you by the balls forcing your neurons to start firing after what has become an indeterminate amount of time of loathing in a haze of self-induced neurological coma in a slumped over position on a smelly chair.
Alcoholics have taught us the art of pacing ourselves while consuming for entertainment but mgr throws that overcautious formula to the wind injecting you with the full might of what this game has in store from minute one. Cutscenes that have you laughing, cheering and fiending for more all tied together with gameplay that would give a 12 yr old fortnite player a seizure (in a good way).
Before you have even started to pretend you are used to the controls it slaps you with the Godzilla of all bosses in your first 5 minutes of gameplay. And as you face down the behemoth, still anxiously having to check your fingers on the controller every 5 seconds, one of the biggest bangers of a song starts cheering your psychopathic blade slashing to the umteenth degree.
And just when you are at the height of your newfound emotional state known as "In it" you are hit with the patented, mid-fight, interactive cutscenes that propell your rebirthed braincells straight to nirvana.
After this encounter you are left erratic, hyperventilating, probably having pissed yourself, and with a heart rate that multiple doctors would pass out from the sight of, you are still left fiending for more, and more it will give.
Which all being said is precisely why you will be left wondering, "Why did satan himself design the parry system".

TL:DR
Everyone knows the memes but it do be hitting different when you're the one in the heart of the blissful chaos that is Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Still the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ parry system is awful and I hate it god please why can't it make any sense to me why

Okay so from what I can gather this game takes place in some alternate history, imaginary medieval Europe type place thing, which is cool considering the donnie that came up with all the cool Witcher ♥♥♥♥ also came up with flowers, kingdoms, mythologies, magic systems but still felt so strongly about vodka that he had to keep that in. If this description doesn't already have you astral projecting to the garden of Eden, then you probably should donate all your earthly possessions to your local church and begin reevaluating.
Gameplay wise the game is a mixture between adrenaline rush, high octane, RP monster slaying goodness and the endless struggle against the demonically engineered 'precision' controls. Whilst you might say my criticism could possibly entirely be attributed to my strange preferences and the fact I play with a controller I would say that I have suffered through enough Wii Mario Kart to deserve better turning in a claimed "game of the decade"

This game tests the unshakeable stoicism of the player, grinding your willpower to the bone until you either forget how to do simple addition or ascend to a higher consciousness and take a step closer to nirvana. Ironically people who are actually good at this satanic cult of a game are some of the dumbest people I have ever met making me wonder if this fabled ascension of the mind is simply a deep seeded delusion born of the countless hours of staring at drawings and numbers.
TLDR Game is kinda cute 7/10. The people who play this game range from Galileo Galilei to Literally Gollum, don't talk to them.

This game grabs you by the balls with the hypotizing story. The cutscenes make you wanna take up religion and post up a shrine to kojima sensei, then the gameplay hits you like a freight train of sleeping pills all the way until youre fading cosciousness gets alrecated by some imaginary dodgy hand monster ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and all youre left with is the mentalist quote of Mason Verger:
"I'm enchanted and terrified!"

This game bangs so hard it cured my blindness and taught me how to read. I showed it to my friend who was in a coma and he woke up to run a marathon.
Illaoi hot af if you disagree you eat cold spaghetti

The game keeps telling you you are Odin's champion and some great warrior don. Don't believe their lies. About when you get your first ship, and through that finally a piece of that viking fantasy, you'll realize that this isn't the warrior's afterlife it claims to be. This is some B-Tec valhalla from walmart for the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ vikings and prolly some mexicans with 1% scandinavian genes. You aint there to fight in the name of Odin oh nono. You are in the afterlife equivalent to the kids table where you get constantly ♥♥♥♥♥♥ by mists and storms where you get jumpscared by sea serpents, trolls and whatever the ♥♥♥♥ graydrarves are. You're unendigly tormented even after you aquire enough drip to take down some tree that knows ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dark magic.

All in all the game kinda slaps.

first it reels you in with the exciting content... then you are presented with the choice to up the difficulty and being the veteran of the game you accept until you realize you have now subjected yourself to unadultrated ♥♥♥♥ and ball torture and an imminent ego death after you die 28 time to the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ perpotrators