Last summer, I approached the miserable mouse in the street, and asked him for his autograph, because my son is a huge fan. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rat gave me the autograph and told me to burn in hell. Later, when I gave my son the autograph he started crying and said he hated me. Turns out the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ didnt write his autograph, no, he wrote “you’re a piece of ♥♥♥♥, and i ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your mom”. I’m now divorced, and planning a huge class-action lawsuit against the white devil that ruined my life. Your time is almost over, Stuart. All the people you’ve wronged will rise against you.

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate Stuart Little. I know what you’re thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no. Stuart Little is a piece of ♥♥♥♥. A damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he’s supposed to be a hero? And I can’t even tell you how many damn times I’ve seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ convertible. He took my wife and the kids and my house and my job. I swear to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god, I’m going to kill myself and take that ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rodent to hell with me. Stuart Little has ruined my family.